Book Reviews

I may be the last person to have discovered www.momastery.com, but discover it I did this summer, thanks to Maribeth, who gave me a copy of Glennon Doyle Melton's book, Carry On, Warrior as a birthday gift. I read it over the summer, rapidly, because I could hardly put it down.

If you haven't read it, I suggest you run down to your local library and check out a copy, borrow from a friend, or - if the budget allows - treat yourself to your own. I am grateful to have a copy, because I dog-eared so many pages that I would have been in trouble with the library had I borrowed their book!

One of my favorite things about this group of essays is its reality. Ms. Melton (ok, Glennon!) is a "truth-teller." I love that quality in a person, and especially love it in a writer. Glennon tells her own truth, and she accepts the consequences of airing it publicly, which are not always pretty in this age of lesser-restraint.

Truth-telling is a hard balance, in blogging and in memoir writing. I have faced it numerous times here, and most of the time, have shied away from sharing details of personal difficulties. That's part of the reason there are long silences here. It's not because I want readers to think I am perfect, or have a perfect life; it's because I want this blog to uplift and strengthen others. If my struggles do that, then they are worth sharing. I believe that my struggles through grief did that. But the other struggles, through parenting, marriage, anxiety, work issues, friendships, etc...do those strengthen and uplift others? I am not so sure. Glennon's writing did that for me.

What do you think?

Another book which has been a blessing this summer is "The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up" by Marie Kondo. Perhaps the title doesn't sound interesting, but the book is, indeed, changing my life, through my perception of things. A former storage expert, Marie Kondo learned (from years of professional practice) that her clients' problems were not due to a lack of storage; they were due to an excess of possessions. As I prepare to put her ideas into practice, I am looking at the objects in our home in quite a different light.

I've held onto many things since Katie passed away, and David left home. Many of these items no longer serve us: toys, paperwork, clothing, gifts."Does it spark joy?" Ms. Kondo says that this is the key question to ask oneself about each item. As a result, I receive insight into feelings about the object, its origin, gifts in general, what I "need," and whether to keep, or let go.

A humorous aside: I intended to check this book out of the library, in order to reduce expense and avoid adding to clutter, but ironically, I found that this volume is best purchased rather than borrowed, because it is a working aid and worth revisiting!

"If a Schmuck Like Me Can Do It..."

In the early seventies a friend kept telling me, “Whatever you do, don’t try to make those feelings go away.” His advice went on: “Anything you can learn about working with your sense of discouragement or your sense of fear or your sense of bewilderment or your sense of feeling inferior or your sense of resentment—anything you can do to work with those things—do it, please, because it will be such an inspiration to other people.” 

That was really good advice. So when I would start to become depressed, I would remember, “Now wait a minute. Maybe I just have to figure out how to rouse myself genuinely, because there are a lot of people suffering like this, and if I can do it, they can do it.” I felt a sense of interconnectedness. “If a schmuck like me can do it, anybody can do it.” That’s what I used to say, that if a miserable person like me—who’s completely caught up in anger and depression and betrayal—if I can do it, then anyone can do it, so I’m going to try.  - The Wisdom of No Escape by Pema Chödrön (pages 100–101)

I'm grateful that Pema Chodron persevered in this. Her writings have inspired me.

Have you ever thought of your own journey in this way? Has it occurred to you that what you have been through - whatever it is that has been an occasion for your perseverance - might give others hope in their own times of trial or darkness?

A number of bloggers and other writers have provided this kind of inspiration for me. Many of them are featured on my blog's sidebar; some of them have written books which I've shared here. Some have served as a kind of "lifeline" for me in the depths of my grief, or during times of betrayal, or losing sight of the next step in the way forward.

If you are enduring a dark time, I hope you will consider that honoring your own inner journey might just be the way through to the light for you. Write down your feelings, draw them, dance, or walk, or paint, plant a garden, write music - whatever comes to you creatively - do it. You needn't share publicly unless you are moved to do so, but do honor your feelings; don't bury or ignore them. Your journey matters, your life matters, and the fact that you find your way through the darkness to the light (and how you do it) may someday instill hope in someone who has lost sight of how to find their way. Remember Pema's words, "If a schmuck like me can do it, anyone can do it."

My mom sent me this glass dish with butterflies in it in honor of Katie's 20th birthday. I filled it with treasures found on the beach on that day. Do you see the "angel's wing" shell on top?

Isn't that a "heavenly" gift?

The "Yes" That Means "No"

Mark Nepo continues to enlighten me with his daybook, "The Book of Awakening." If you haven't seen it, I recommend you check it out from your local library or bookstore. A few days ago, his topic was, "I Say Yes When I Mean No."

Have you ever done this? I have, with consequences ranging from unpleasant to disastrous.

My mom gave me a calendar with a photo like this for each week (thanks, Mom!).

Though this photo is funny, anyone who has ever said "Yes" when she meant "No" knows it is not a joke. It is painful to override our own inner voice - our own deep desires and gut feelings.

I'm not speaking of choices like "vanilla or chocolate?;" I am talking about things that evoke a visceral NO, but are ignored. Things like, No, you may not touch me that way.  No, the way you speak to me is not acceptable. No, I 'm not ready to take action on this. No, that job isn't in my skill set, or my heart's path. No, I don't want another drink. No, thank you, I am not hungry. No, thank you, but I do not want to marry you. No, that is not what I meant. No, I do not have the time/money/energy to invest in your cause. No, I will not do your work for you. No, I will not abandon myself. No, I will not jump on this bandwagon. {Insert your own "No" here.}

In our family, we have a joke called, "The Yes that means No." This is the long, drawn-out syllable of "Yeeeeees," spoken without conviction, when one really means (and doesn't want to say) "No." We point it out - "Ah, there's the 'Yes' that really means 'No!,' " and we laugh about it, clear the air, and then, our true voice is heard on the subject: No. And I want to hear that true voice, even if I am disappointed or disagree. That has been one of the interesting things about this marriage: I love Gregg enough to want him to have his way, as much as I want my own. That was new, for me.

I grew up in a traditional household, the product of a 1950s marriage as it evolved through the 1960s and 1970s. There was not an equal balance of power between my parents in those days, and it was felt by all of us (they have since established a happier balance). I grew up feeling that I hadn't had enough of my own way, or the opportunity to self-determine. I'm not sure if this is a universal quality of youth, or if it was an effect of growing up in my family of origin; perhaps it was due to the overbearing nature of the religion we practiced, or to observing people outside of our circle who had more freedom than I. I just knew that I wanted some control when I became an adult, and when the time came, I did my best to assert it. I didn't always do it gently or gracefully, and made plenty of mistakes in the process.

Mark Nepo says, 

"There have been many times that I said yes when I meant no, afraid of displeasing others, and even more afraid of being viewed as selfish. I think the first time I decided to get married, I said yes when I meant no. Young and inexperienced in being myself, I agreed to  be a fish out of water for as long as I could, so as not to hurt or disappoint or displease. Not surprisingly, it all ended badly."

That passage could have been written about me; I did the same thing, and it was a mistake of large proportions. I ended up hurting the man (and myself) far more in the long run than if I had simply faced the truth at the beginning, and said - and acted upon - the NO which I felt so deeply.

Because I did feel it, but was afraid of it - afraid of what it meant I would have to do.

After divorcing, I have tried to learn from my mistakes. When I met Gregg, I learned that not everyone is driven to have his own way. Gregg freely shared the power in our relationship. This shifted my consciousness; I found the pleasure of giving way, of asking, "What do YOU want to do?" - and meaning it. It took some time, as I am strong-willed and tenacious, but after a little while, I had enough of "my way," and began to enjoy seeking and finding out what Gregg really wanted (when he had a preference), and giving it to him.

Nepo goes on to say,

"...those who truly love us will never knowingly ask us to be other than we are...when we agree to any demand, request or condition that is contrary to our soul's nature, the cost is that precious life force is drained off our core. Despite the seeming rewards of compliance, our souls grow weary by engaging in activities that are inherently against their nature...watch any piece of nature doing what it does--tree, moose, snake, or lightning--[and] it becomes clear that the very energy of life is the spirit released by things being what they are."

"God holds in power the soul of every living thing,

And the breath of every human body." -Book of Job, Chapter 12

If our soul, our true self, is God's gift to us, and our gift to the world, there can be no benefit in putting it "under a bushel," or on "mute." May we each have to courage to give (and to receive) whole-hearted "Yes" and "No," from attention to the soul of who we truly are.

"The Glory of God is a human being fully alive." - St. Irenaeus

Devote Yourself

"Yours is to live it, not to reveal it." - Helen Luke 

I am reminded of the gift of Mark Nepo's gentle wisdom as I read the piece he has selected for each day of the year in his luminous work, "The Book of Awakening." Today's reading begins with the quote above, from his mentor Helen Luke - some of her last words to him before her passing. As abrupt as this quote sounds upon first reading, Nepo goes on to explain:

"...I've come to understand her last instruction as an invitation to shed any grand purpose, no matter how devoted we may be to what we are doing. She wasn't telling me to stop writing, but to stop striving to be important. She was inviting me to stop recording the poetry of life and to enter the poetry of life.
"This lesson applies to us all. If we devote ourselves to the life at hand, the rest will follow. For life, it seems, reveals itself through those willing to live. Anything else, no matter how beautiful, is just advertising."

This passage struck me deeply. What does it mean to "devote ourselves to the life at hand?" Looking up "devote" and "devotion" tells us that it involves wholehearted giving of oneself and one's resources; the root is in "consecration," - the word's origin is "vow."

It resonated with one of my favorite passages in "Radical Grace" by Richard Rohr. Writing about Mary, the mother of Jesus, and her actions upon receiving the visit from an angel who announces Mary's pregnancy, Rohr says:

"The events themselves will be her guide and teacher. She does not need to figure it out and plan accordingly; the plan will be given by God through life's encounters. Reality is her teacher. That is why she could hear angels.
"Decisive action beyond our fears gives us a sense of our own power and the power of God within us. [Mary] can hold her power comfortably because she knows it is from Beyond."

I held on to this passage when Katie was in the hospital. My prayer practice had been so peaceful and regular, before her illness; once we were uprooted and transplanted from our old life, my practice became prayer-in-action, pray-as-you-go, the prayer of living service. It was the prayer of devotion, wholehearted giving. Now, eight years later, I pray to work and live as wholeheartedly today as I did then, in the midst of the crisis of illness.

Since Katie's passing, I have accepted invitations to serve in places which - eight years ago - were not even on my personal radar: the University of Washington's School of Medicine and Field's End Writer's Community are two examples. Serving on panels, taking classes and teaching classes are fun and rewarding ways to give. Now, I have entered a new field of learning and service: I recently completed the first level of Jikiden Reiki training. Reiki is a spiritual healing practice which is not linked to a religion. It originated in Japan, and it is a way to practice healing prayer, relying upon the power of Universal Life Force, or ki (which is another name for God). I am enjoying the practice enormously.

This is a natural step, after a summer of suffering physical pain, limitation and the medications which masked it. It is also a natural step, considering my attachment to my DVD project as "the" way to help clinicians deal with their grief and pain. In releasing my grip on that project, I can now see other ways to serve. Reiki is practiced in medical centers and has unlimited potential. Its Gokai, or five principles, are:
Just for today -
Do not be angry
Do not worry
Be grateful
Do your duties 
Be kind to others

In "Do your duties," I hear, "work wholeheartedly,"  or "devote yourself."

Life itself is revealing where I need to go. God provides the inspiration, and the power of His creativity and love, and I follow, as wholeheartedly as possible.

Things Literary

http://books.wwnorton.com/books/Knitting-Yarns/

We went to a superb event on Saturday evening, hosted by Field's End. New York Times best-selling author Ann Hood came to Bainbridge Island and gave a writing workshop in the afternoon. In the evening, we gathered to hear four excellent actors read from her wonderful book, Knitting Yarns (a collection of essays, edited by Ms. Hood). After the reading, she spoke about the book, about her life, and about how she came to be interested in knitting; she was gracious, funny, witty, and engaging. After that, we gathered in the bistro next door for a fun, informal reception and book-signing.

Ann Hood is also the author of Comfort, a memoir about her life after the passing of her daughter, Grace. I read it after Katie died; it was a deep, beautifully written, stirring book. Who could have guessed that I might have the privilege of meeting its author a few years later, of looking her in the eyes and telling her, mother to mother, that I had been moved by her work?

Knitting Yarns is about so much more than knitting - its stories include family, life-changes, pets, community, gender roles and more. Gregg and I laughed until we cried, nodded in agreement, and listened with pleasure as each actor brought to life the voice of a character who had something vital to say about the craft of knitting. Do check it out, even if you are not a knitter.

Being a new member of the Field's End Core Team is already enriching my life and stimulating my imagination. Everyone has been welcoming, and I am excited about the possibilities ahead. If you live locally, check out the upcoming offerings at www.fieldsend.org!

My grandfather, Morton, in the library

Meeting Ann Hood is one of many serendipitous things that have happened since I started working through The Artist's Way (serendipity is one of the effects predicted by Julia Cameron, author of AW). I have been busy writing, listening, studying, observing, and reflecting. My (waking and sleeping) dream-life is richer than it was before - another of Julia Cameron's predictions for those who are practicing The Artist's Way. 

Nana Emilie in the library

Memories swim up to the surface from deep down in the depths of consciousness. Perhaps this is why, today, I remembered a small item which used to sit on my grandfather's desk in his library. He and my grandmother were avid readers and book collectors.

Morton's desk

It was a ceramic paperweight, very simple, made in the shape of an open book. Someone had written these words in rough black letters on the white-glazed pages:

Do more than look; observe.
Do more than read; absorb.

I wish I had thought to keep this paperweight after my grandparents' passing. I read the words dozens of times, and yet forgot all about it - until today. Wondering where the quote originated, I looked online, and Google revealed the source:

Do more than exist; live.
Do more than touch; feel.
Do more than look; observe.
Do more than read; absorb.
Do more than hear; listen.
Do more than listen; understand.
Do more than think; ponder.
Do more than talk; say something. - John H. Rhoades

Wise words, suggesting an intentional approach to living - to move beyond the superficial and go a step farther, deeper.

This led to a search for photos of the home where my mother grew up. The house is still standing, but the property has been subdivided, so the orchard is gone.

My grandmother designed this house in every detail (with an architect's help), including the recycled brick

The entry hall, with portrait of my great-great grandmother

The staircase my mother descended on her way to her wedding in the garden

My brother and me with Nana Emilie on the south side of  the garden.

Living room

More living room

I loved this house for its exquisite, understated beauty; it informed and shaped my taste in furnishings and interior design, and inspired me to study the subject. 

And yet more living room

I'm grateful to my grandparents for their love of books, beauty, education, culture and their appreciation of all of the arts, which they freely shared with us. I'm thankful to have happy memories of this house - including the recently rediscovered wisdom of John H. Rhoades.

New Price for Kindle Edition

I just lowered the price of the Kindle version of "Because of Katie," and enrolled it in the Kindle Matchbook program. If you buy a print copy, you will have the opportunity to buy the Kindle version for just $2.99. At some point, I may write an updated version of it, but for now, I want to lower the Kindle price.

I would love it if everyone would shop at their locally-owned, independent bookstore! But if you don't have one, or they won't order the print version of the book for you, here are two options:
click on Liberty Bay Books and they will help you, or
you can click HERE and get the Kindle Edition for just $2.99 when you buy the new print edition of this book. Learn more about

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Employment, etc.

This is Eagle Harbor on Bainbridge Island, WA, NOT New England - but it sure resembles the photos that David is sending!

David is working as a deckhand for American Cruise Lines, along the New England coast. This company operates small cruise ships in United States' waters, including rivers and coastal areas. He is learning and putting in a lot of hours, on the decks, at the helm (under the captain's and mate's supervision), driving the launch and standing gangway watch. I can't think of many jobs better suited to a young man just out of college (who has worked four summers on a local cruise line) than this one. We are happy and proud of him for taking on this adventurous job, as he continues to look for a permanent one in his field of study (criminal justice, with a minor in business).

Another reason that we are happy for David is the fact that his senior thesis has been published in the Journal of Law and Criminal Justice. It was interesting to me that his class was structured so that each thesis was written cooperatively (they worked in pairs). David and his writing partner functioned well as a team, and their professor thought so highly of the completed work that she suggested they submit it for publication. With a few suggested edits/additions from her, they did; it was accepted - and we just received the happy news. I hope that this will help a potential employer to see beyond the online resume and forms which are standard in the job market today.

It seems so difficult to communicate who you are, using electronic application forms! Back in the day, I enjoyed creating a resume and cover letter - selecting fonts and formatting, deciding which paper to use - and enjoyed the interview process, too. But nowadays, how do human resources decision-makers differentiate one from all of the others, when so much is done electronically? My heart goes out to young graduates - to all job-seekers - in this electronic age!

We've had a gorgeous, sunny summer, during which I've continued to study the Artist's Way. Every morning, I get up and write - longhand, per the instructions - and do the exercises, sitting outdoors, whenever possible.

I'm not the only one who likes to sit on the deck, but at least I don't sit on the picnic table - Liger does.

In addition to being filled with wisdom and challenging ideas, the book and its exercises are bringing up a lot of information from within me, including unrealized truths and dreams that I have not dared to voice. I would recommend the Artist's Way to anyone who is willing to devote time and honest attention to it, even if each chapter takes longer than just a week. Due to our vacation, taking care of my back and now a root canal procedure, I am going at my own pace, but the timing doesn't matter. The book is blessing me, and it is worth taking the time to do the work thoroughly rather than at an arbitrary pace. Thanks for reminding about it, Shelby!

I learned this week that Field's End Writers' Community would like me to offer WORD SOUP© again in 2015. I am thrilled, and already looking forward to it.

Speaking of Field's End, if you live in this area, please visit the website and consider attending one of the classes or events that are being offered! For example: an evening with bestselling author and editor Ann Hood as she presents "Knitting the Arts Together,”  leading a troupe of actors in reading excerpts from Knitting Yarns: Writers on Knitting. The event will take place on Saturday, October 18th from 7:00 to 9:00 PM, at the Bainbridge Island Museum of Art Auditorium, at 550 Winslow Way East (the corner of 305 & Winslow—walk up from the ferry).

"Hope for a Sea Change" by Elizabeth Aquino

My friend, the very talented writer Elizabeth Aquino of the blog "A Moon, Worn as if it Had Been a Shell," has written a gorgeous new memoir called  
"Hope for a Sea Change."
 
 It's available in eBook form for only $2.99 from
Amazon.com and
SheBooks.
I hope you will follow one of these links and order a copy. You can read it in one sitting, and I'll bet you will, because you won't want to put it down. Elizabeth's writing is gorgeous, and her story will give you a glimpse into what life is like for an intelligent, energetic, witty, loving, creative, dedicated woman when she is faced with the sudden onset of a mysterious illness in her precious first child.

Elizabeth's writing is insightful, honest, clear, and yet filled with feeling. Her descriptions of life with a critical illness in the family - of adjusting, coping, and seeking help from "the best of the best" - are gripping, intense and luminous. I could feel her hope, discouragement, wonder, exhaustion and dark humor as she tells Sophie's story. The only downside of this memoir is that I wish it was longer.

One of the bonds which we share is the birth date of our only daughters. Sophie and Katie were born on the same day, in the same year. Though I have never met Sophie, I was fortunate to be able to meet Elizabeth in Victoria, B.C. last year when she was on a respite break, provided to her by Caregifted. Elizabeth's voice and sensibility is a gift in my life, and I know that it will be in yours, once you dip into her beautiful prose.

That's Elizabeth on the right, across from Kim of the "Art in Red Wagons" blog

Elizabeth's writing and friendship have been lights on my path since I met her in the blogisphere. I recommend you visit her blog, as well as download her memoir. If you are anything like me, they will leave you you wanting to read more. I can't wait until she finishes and publishes the long version - but please, don't wait! Order your copy today. It costs less than a latte, and its impact will be far more lasting and beneficial to you than a rush of caffeine.

The Book of Awakening

If you have never read "The Book of Awakening" by Mark Nepo, I suggest you look for it. It is a daybook full of gems. Mark Nepo is a cancer survivor, so when he writes about pain, I know that he knows what he is talking about.

The reading for today included this (emphasis added by me):

"One of the most difficult things for us to accept is that beneath all our dreams and disappointments, we live and breathe in abundance. It is hard when in pain to believe all that we ever need is before us, around us, within us. And yet it is true.
"Like leafless trees waiting for morning, something as great and as constant as the Earth holds us up and turns us ever so slowly toward the light. Our task is only to be rooted and patient.
"...The presence of God has never eliminated pain, only made it more bearable.
"...Time and again, we are asked to outlast what we want and hope for, in order to see what's there. It is enough."

Field's End Writers' Community

"At the field's end, in the corner missed by the mower
Where the turf drops off into a grass-hidden culvert,
Haunt of the cat-bird, nesting-place of the field-mouse...
One learned of the eternal..." - from "The Far Field," a poem by Theodore Roethke

You may recall reading here about a writer's conference I attended two years ago on Bainbridge Island at lovely IslandWood. The organization which hosted the conference is called Field's End, and local author David Guterson is one of its founders. I attended with a bit of fear and trembling; it felt presumptuous to call myself a "writer," just as it has always felt presumptuous to call myself an "artist," though I majored in art in college and have many years of experience in creative expression.

Criticism of the product - whatever I produced - is part of the classroom experience for an art major, and I internalized all of the many critiques I received, until I began to experience fear and blockage when faced with a blank canvas...so I stopped painting altogether. That's what I call an artistic injury.

There is a wonderful painter/teacher named Flora Bowley 

whose writing and approach to art (and living) 

is helping me to re-visit this injury, 

and to breathe healing energy toward that place.

I hope - someday - to attend one of her workshops, 

and for now, am benefiting from reading

and reflecting on her blog postings and newsletters.

Back to writing: after Katie died, writing became a lifeline for me, and I grabbed hold of it, writing freely and frequently. Writing has always felt like a natural outcome of my inclination to talk and to process my feelings verbally. Though I wrote regularly on several blogs (this one, and three on my sidebar: Katie's Comforters Guild, the Katie Gerstenberger Endowment and Hopeful Parents), I didn't think of myself as, nor dare to call myself, a "writer."

I wrote and published "Because of Katie," served as a speaker, was published in magazines, but still the inner critic slid over from the painter-side of my brain and whispered, "...But you SELF-published your book; you're not a REAL writer, yet!" So I was hesitant to even attend this workshop. Thanks to encouragement from warm-hearted friends who also wanted to attend, I went anyway - and loved it.

A post-writer's-workshop function

I've since put my name on the mailing list for Field's End newsletters and email, and due to the inspiration received at the conference, my friends and I formed our own writing group, the "Sh*tty First Draft Writing Group" (the name is a nod to Anne Lamott's advice to budding writers to get your fanny into a chair and make "sh*tty first drafts," saving the editing for later).

A few weeks ago, Field's End put out a call for volunteers, and though I couldn't attend the meeting to learn what they needed, I replied to the call and arranged to meet two of the members of the Core Team afterward. I thought I might be able to help with hospitality, registration and whatnot. It was fun to meet both Barbara and Kathleen; they are welcoming, encouraging, kind and open-minded. We shared a lively brainstorming session, and the result of that meeting is this: I was invited to join, and am now a member of, Field's End's Core Team! It's an exciting step for me.

Field's End recently sent out a questionnaire to its mailing list and received 400 responses; that is a sure sign of a vibrant writers' community! Their mission statement includes these words:

"Field's End serves the writers' community and nurtures the written word through lectures, workshops, and instruction in the art, craft, and profession of writing."

The core team seeks to encourage writers who have not yet started, and desire to do so, as well as those who are farther down the path of writing; those who have self-published as well as those who have a publisher. It's a welcoming organization, not a snobbish/exclusive one, and I sense that there will be no artistic injuries inflicted here; perhaps even repair and restoration may come to those who have been silenced by an inner (or an outer) critic. I can't wait to see what unfolds.

NieNie Dialogues, Childhood Cancer & Me

If you are a fan of the NieNie Dialogues, as I am, you'll be interested to see that Stephanie has a posting up today about Childhood Cancer.

September is Childhood Cancer Awareness Month, as you know if you've been a reader here in past years, and it is wonderful when a blogger with a big following (like Stephanie) writes to raise support and awareness.
Please follow this link to The NieNie Dialogues and read about a precious young girl who is in treatment for the 2nd time. There are beautiful items for sale right now to raise support for her family's medical bills. If you can't make a purchase, perhaps you can send a message of support.

Stephanie has included a wonderful little paragraph about my book - thank you for the shout-out, NieNie! If you haven't read Stephanie's book, "Heaven is Here," I recommend it; it's the true story of her survival of a plane crash (and burns over more than 80% of her body). Her faith, her truthfulness, joy, healing, deep love of family, and the outpouring of support they experienced are inspiring and encouraging. I read it, enjoyed and learned from it, and gave a copy as a gift to my mom. Click on the link to check it out!

The Best Presents (Presence)

On Thursday night, I had the privilege of being a listener on a conference call with one of my care-giving role models: Rachel Naomi Remen, M.D.  Her talk was about making medicine whole again, through re-claiming healing elements of care-giving. Chief among those elements is attention, or presence - the practice of simply being with what is another person's experience in an open, non-judging, courageous way.

Dr. Remen's book, "My Grandfather's Blessings" is on my list of books to read over and over again. In it, her view of how medicine can be practiced as a healing art comes clearly through her words and stories. The conference call was full of such stories and lessons. You can download a recording of it here.

With the first days of summer, the "super-moon" has been visible here. According to the Farmer's Almanac blog,

"A supermoon is when a full or new Moon phase coincides with the Moon’s perigee, or closest point in its orbit to the Earth. A full supermoon can look up to 14% larger and be up to 30% brighter than a normal full moon...Even though the Moon won’t officially be full...waxing gibbous Moon will look full, and will also be exceptionally big and bright."

This event coincides with very low tides - one of my favorite things to enjoy in summer. Gregg and I took a walk on our beach Saturday morning in the sunshine. It was a perfect day.

Gregg with our neighbor's dogs on the sandspit

There were dozens of starfish and varieties of seaweed on the beach, in many shapes, textures and colors

This is the actual color - Mother Nature is astonishing!

Moon snails were digging in the sand and laying their eggs. I don't know if this starfish is trying to escape the sun, or eating a snail, but it doesn't quite fit into the shell it has chosen

The Evergreen State with blue sky is incomparably lovely

There is no place like home - especially in summertime

The best present, for me, is time spent together - preferably in nature, particularly on a beach. Every year around my birthday, for some time now, the gift I've requested from my family is a day hiking on the beach, followed by dinner at a favorite restaurant.

My sister-in-law, Caroline and I share the same birthday month. Though our birthdays are only one day (and eight years) apart, neither one of us makes a big deal of marking it, so we have never initiated a shared celebration. This year, I invited Jim (my brother) & Caroline to join us; they accepted, and David was able to take the day off from work.

As Jim & Cara live about an hour and a half to the east of us, they spent Saturday night in our home so that we could get an early start on Sunday. I made breakfast wraps and smoothies for us to eat in the car on the way to Port Townsend, and Gregg made sandwiches for our picnic lunch.

The weather changed overnight, so we were hiking under cloudy (but warm) skies. There were a few sprinkles of rain, but they served to cool us off, and actually felt good. Washingtonians know how to dress in layers.

Taking a little break during the 9+ mile hike

Gregg, me, David, Jim & Cara topping the day off with excellent Thai food and dessert

I'm thankful for a happy weekend filled with my favorite activities, and the best present of all - the presence of those I love!

P.S.: thank you for the sweet wishes - 

my birthday isn't until the 26th. 

We celebrated early due to work & tide schedules.

Please Join Us at Eagle Harbor Book Co.!

 

On Sunday, September 23rd at 3:00 P.M., 

I will be signing and reading excerpts from my book, "Because of Katie," and showing a brief video about the Ben Towne Foundation's work

at Eagle Harbor Books 

at 157 Winslow Way East on Bainbridge Island. 

There will be quilts from Katie's Comforters Guild on display, and information about progress in childhood cancer research, all in honor of Childhood Cancer Awareness Month. 

Please come and join us!

A Request for Your Help

Dear friends, if you've read "Because of Katie," would you please consider writing a review of it on its Amazon page? I know that time is precious (particularly if it's a sunny day in Seattle!), so I don't want to presume on your time, but if you liked the book, or thought it had something particularly helpful or valuable, would you consider putting a few words together?

The place to post your thoughts is just below the other reviews on the Amazon page (use the link above); there is a button to click, and that will take you to the sign-in page, and then on to the review form. Even a short sentence would be a help to others who are considering buying the book. Thank you very much - and special thanks to those of you who have already done this!

If, after reading "Because of Katie," you find yourself wishing that all hospitals and clinics were like Seattle Children's Hospital, would you consider sharing the book with a doctor, nurse or other medical personnel you know? It's available on Kindle as well as paperback, and Kindle format is even more affordable than paperback.

Everything and anything that you can do to spread the word about "Because of Katie" will enable me to share what I've learned on this path. My hope is to gently transform the state of medical care by expanding and deepening medical personnel's understanding of what it's like to experience medical care from the inside. Thank you very much!

"God Hugs You"

"God hugs you.
You are encircled by the arms
of the mystery of God." 

 - Hildegarde of Bingen

I am reading a book by Beth Moore called "JOHN: 90 days with the Beloved Disciple." It is a large book (440 beautiful, thick, cream-colored pages with deckle edges), and is part textbook and part journal. I am loving the study.

John is one of my favorite disciples, because of the way he saw and understood Jesus and Our Father. This book takes me deep into a sort of lectio divina process each day, entering the Biblical scenes with the disciples and imagining what it was like for them to walk with Jesus, listen to him and learn from him. There is a short scriptural reading for each day, a reflection on the scripture passage and a couple of journaling and/or prayer prompts.

The message of LOVE comes through this book loudly and clearly. As is often the case with any daily devotional practice, I frequently feel as if the reading was specifically written for ME that day. What an intimate and blessed feeling that is. The scriptural passage was from John 21: 15 - 23. I enjoy reading parallel versions, especially in The Message and The Amplified Bible.

Today's reading and reflections were helpful, discussing Jesus' repetition of the question, "Do you love me?" to Peter. I was blessed by Beth's reflections, especially words such as these:
"We might feed the sheep or serve the flock based on other motivations for a while, but only one thing will compel us to follow the Lord Jesus Christ faithfully to the death: love!...Only love will keep burning when everything else disintegrates into an ashen heap. Pray for this one thing more than you pray for your next breath. I am convinced love is everything.
     "But I wasn't the first one convinced. I simply follow a long line of believers who failed their way into the discovery that love is the highest priority and motivating force in the entire life of faith...
     "Beloved, over and over Jesus tells us, 'You can trust Me!' In this scene He is saying to His present-day disciples, 'You can trust Me with you, and you can trust Me with them. I am the same God to all of you, but I have a different plan for each of you. You won't miss it if you keep following. Remember, I've been a carpenter by trade. Custom blueprints are My specialty. God's glory is My goal. Now fill your canteen to the brim with love and follow Me.' " (pages 107 - 109)

What precious encouragement in difficult times, confusing times, painful times, uncertain times, in-between, liminal times. I thank God for Jesus, and for faithful mentors, writers, saints and apostles who inspire and teach us, remind us of what is true, and breathe freshness onto our path.

New KINDLE Price for "Because of Katie"

Exciting news for you Kindle users: "Because of Katie" is now available on Kindle for just $10.95!
This price reduction will take effect during the next 12 - 48 hours. If you've been waiting to order, click on the link above, and it will take you directly to the Amazon.com order page - or go to your local, independent bookstore (like Poulsbo's own Liberty Bay Books) and request a paperback copy. You may also order directly from the publisher, Createspace, by following the link on my sidebar or clicking HERE.

I have hesitated to drop the price on Kindle, because I don't want to favor e-Readers over print readers, but the reality is that market prices for e-Reader books are lower, and I need to be in sync with them. I have yet to explore other e-Reader platforms for the book. If you want a particular platform to be available, please leave a message here.

Please share this good news with anyone you know who might be interested - your primary care physician, a nurse, family member, friend, pastor, etc. Thank you!

Book Talk

Let's talk about books! There are two new books that I want to discuss with you. One is just out now, and the other will be out in August. Let's start with the present.

Through Camp Goodtimes West, I met a lovely woman named Anna. She is sassy, strong, fun, intelligent, independent, courageous, kind...I could go on and on. Anna is living the life that many young women dream of leading: she is a senior editor at Cosmopolitan magazine, living and working in NY, and writing books on the side.

This song could be written about women like Anna, who have the courage to follow their dreams to the big city. I tried it (in Boston), and I only lasted a year. Anna is doing fabulously.

Anna Davies (by Paul Dudley Photography)

She has just published her first novel, which is called "Wrecked." I'm in the midst of reading it, and it is good. It's a novel aimed at a young adult audience, yet even at my age (!) I can feel its appeal. In fact, it is related to one of my favorite stories (The Little Mermaid), and is set in an island community, complete with ferries for transportation. So far, it deals with issues of loss, comfort, mystery, life beyond this one, hard choices and consequences...and it includes friendship, family and romance, too. Good stuff!

The big local news is that Anna is coming back to Seattle to have two booksignings, one in Seattle on Friday night, June 8th from 7:00 - 9:00 P.M. at a store called "The Secret Garden" (Ballard), and one right here in POULSBO! The Ballard store is owned by the mother of a Camp Goodtimes staffer, and part of the proceeds of that event will benefit camp. Thank you for doing that, Anna!

The Poulsbo event will be held on Saturday, June 9th at 4:00 P.M. at Liberty Bay Books (owned by our friend, Suzanne Droppert). We are going to attend with local friends and camp friends - everyone is welcome.  Here is a little bit more "scoop" on Anna and her new book:

Anna "Jiffy" Davies will be reading and signing her novel, "Wrecked", on Saturday, June 9th at 4:00 pm at Liberty Bay Books in Poulsbo. "Wrecked" is an updated version of The Little Mermaid, and is a paranormal romance for ages 12+. Anna is also a senior editor at Cosmopolitan magazine and, before writing "Wrecked," worked on the "Gossip Girl" series and the "Vampire Diaries" books. Come, mingle and ask questions. For more information on Anna, check out www.annakdavies.blogspot.com or @annakdavies on Twitter.

The other book will also be available at Liberty Bay Books - it is due to come out in August. Suzanne loaned an advance copy to me, and asked me to review it. It's by Maria Semple, and is called "Where'd You Go, Bernadette?" It's set in Seattle, and the author is a "transplant" here, so she has what I'd call a fresh take on all things Puget Sound Area.

The book is written in an unusual format, using letters, memos, emails and the like to construct the story of the disappearance of a mysterious woman - a wife, mother and former award-winning architect. It is quick, engaging, witty and funny in a way that will especially appeal to people who have lived in the Seattle area. She makes fun of many of our local idiosyncrasies (such as the need for "blackberry abatement") in a way that had me laughing out loud (see pages 90 - 91 for a good example). I recomment this book to anyone who is looking for a fun, fast-paced, light-hearted read.

I hope you'll check out both "Wrecked" and "Where'd You Go, Bernadette?" at Liberty Bay Books (or Secret Garden Books, or your own local, independent bookseller).

Lastly, remember this book? If you haven't read it yet, please do (it's also available through Liberty Bay Books), and tell me what you think!

"Wrecked" by Anna Davies

Congratulations, Anna!

One of our Camp Goodtimes friends, Anna, has written a new YA book, which is called "Wrecked."
Don't you just love that title?
You can hop over to amazon (using this link) and check it out; you can read an excerpt, and pre-order it (in paper or Kindle format) at a very good price. You can also check out her blog on my sidebar.

Anna is someone whose character, spirit and sense of adventure I admire, and I just know that this book is going to be a good one. She works in the crazy world of NYC publishing, yet still manages to keep her head, sense of humor, optimism, generosity and her wits about her. Anna has been a great encourager and champion to me and others, and she deserves all the success in the world.

On Saturday, at the Field's End Writers conference, David Guterson said something that stuck with me. He told us that the Field's End community was founded in the wake of 9-11, in the firm conviction that

"great writing matters. Great writing has the potential to make the world a better place."

I agree.

Congratulations, Anna!

Field's End Writers' Conference

Robin, Linda, Reba and me at dinner at the Treehouse Cafe,
after the conference

Saturday was a rich gift: a day spent at a conference, put on by the Field's End Writers' Community of Bainbridge Island. My friend Robin is a dedicated volunteer for Field's End, a group which was founded 10 years ago by Nichole Vick and David Guterson - yes, the "Snow Falling on Cedars" David Guterson.

I've known about Field's End for years, and would never have DARED to attend one of their events, because I didn't consider myself enough of a "real" writer to mingle with others, but a few weeks ago, Robin and I were having coffee with our friend, Reba after taking a walk together. Robin encouraged Reba and me to sign up for the conference. Both of us balked, but said we'd think about it...and then we both jumped in and registered.

Yesterday, we met at the fabulous IslandWood Center with their friend Linda, and immersed ourselves in a community that was warmer, more inviting and encouraging than I would ever have imagined a creative gathering could be. I knew that I was a "real" writer at the Fields' End conference.

The structure of the day was perfect: opportunities to listen to published authors, teachers of the craft, and those versed in the business side of things, all discussing a variety of topics, from craft to art to marketing to first novels, practices and writing strategies, as well as changes in the publishing industry. There were large gatherings and small group sessions. I attended sessions addressed by Jonathon Evison, David Guterson & Nichole Vick, Judith Kitchen, Barry Eisler, Sage Cohen, Isaac Marion and Susan Wingate (and there were many others from which to choose). It was stimulating, inspiring, encouraging, and joyful.

Islandwood itself is a place of rare natural beauty, and the staff could not have been more welcoming. The food served (breakfast, lunch and a wine-and-cheese reception during book-signing, at the end) was so good that it truly defies description, unlike any "camp" food I've ever tasted. IslandWood is the perfect venue for a conference, classes or a wedding.

I am so thankful to Robin for encouraging me to take this step, to all of the volunteers who made the conference possible, and to David Guterson and Nichole Vick for founding this community. I learned about many resources that will be helpful to me as a writer, and am interested in taking more classes and participating in Field's End's roundtables. I felt affirmed by everyone to whom I listened and spoke, and was excited by their experiences, readings and successes.

After the conference, we met our husbands at a local cafe for dinner (all except Robin's husband, who was visiting their son at college). It was a wonderful time of fellowship and discussion, a good way to let off some steam after taking in so much information in classes during the day. I have many handouts and notes to review, and can't wait to go over them.

The four of us women decided that we could create a reading/writing group, to gather for shared critique and support. That is an exciting prospect, and one that inspires me to keep writing, even as I continue to work on marketing "Because of Katie."

I felt the love of God in this event, gently guiding me as I take another step in my life as writer, and I am thankful!