Book Reviews

I may be the last person to have discovered www.momastery.com, but discover it I did this summer, thanks to Maribeth, who gave me a copy of Glennon Doyle Melton's book, Carry On, Warrior as a birthday gift. I read it over the summer, rapidly, because I could hardly put it down.

If you haven't read it, I suggest you run down to your local library and check out a copy, borrow from a friend, or - if the budget allows - treat yourself to your own. I am grateful to have a copy, because I dog-eared so many pages that I would have been in trouble with the library had I borrowed their book!

One of my favorite things about this group of essays is its reality. Ms. Melton (ok, Glennon!) is a "truth-teller." I love that quality in a person, and especially love it in a writer. Glennon tells her own truth, and she accepts the consequences of airing it publicly, which are not always pretty in this age of lesser-restraint.

Truth-telling is a hard balance, in blogging and in memoir writing. I have faced it numerous times here, and most of the time, have shied away from sharing details of personal difficulties. That's part of the reason there are long silences here. It's not because I want readers to think I am perfect, or have a perfect life; it's because I want this blog to uplift and strengthen others. If my struggles do that, then they are worth sharing. I believe that my struggles through grief did that. But the other struggles, through parenting, marriage, anxiety, work issues, friendships, etc...do those strengthen and uplift others? I am not so sure. Glennon's writing did that for me.

What do you think?

Another book which has been a blessing this summer is "The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up" by Marie Kondo. Perhaps the title doesn't sound interesting, but the book is, indeed, changing my life, through my perception of things. A former storage expert, Marie Kondo learned (from years of professional practice) that her clients' problems were not due to a lack of storage; they were due to an excess of possessions. As I prepare to put her ideas into practice, I am looking at the objects in our home in quite a different light.

I've held onto many things since Katie passed away, and David left home. Many of these items no longer serve us: toys, paperwork, clothing, gifts."Does it spark joy?" Ms. Kondo says that this is the key question to ask oneself about each item. As a result, I receive insight into feelings about the object, its origin, gifts in general, what I "need," and whether to keep, or let go.

A humorous aside: I intended to check this book out of the library, in order to reduce expense and avoid adding to clutter, but ironically, I found that this volume is best purchased rather than borrowed, because it is a working aid and worth revisiting!

Stroll for Well-Being Featured in nextavenue.org

The Bloedel Reserve's Stroll for Well-Being program is featured in the current issue of nextavenue, an online magazine, described as

"public media’s first and only national service for America’s booming 50+ population. Our mission is to meet the needs and unleash the potential of older Americans through the power of media. We do this by providing news, information and advice to help our audience navigate their lives and inviting them to join in an ongoing conversation about the issues and transitions we all face.
"Twin Cities Public Television (tpt) in St. Paul, Minn. produces Next Avenue for the PBS system and 84 PBS stations are local affiliate partners. Our content extends far beyond our website, through our national network of media partners and government and nonprofit allies."

I was interviewed for the article; you can read it here.

The spring season of the Stroll for Well-Being will wrap up on Monday, and the summer session begins on Tuesday. I'm very excited to help facilitate the meetings, to hear what participants have to say after 12 weeks of strolling the gorgeous grounds of the Reserve (during an unusually sunny spring for Western Washington), to meet the new groups and assist with their orientation.

If you are interested in joining the program, go to www.bloedelreserve.org. You'll be glad you did!

"Where I'm From..." by George Ella Lyon

I designed WORD SOUP for groups of about 12 people; the first time I presented it for Field's End, we had six or seven participants. This year, we had 18 people at our first session - the beautiful West Reading Room at the Poulsbo library was filled with writers!

The energy around the table was positive and friendly; participants were ready to get right to work (which is really play). It is a joy to see people writing freely, and to have so many of them willing to share what they had written, reading it aloud to the group. We write to prompts, so we are sharing our first-draft work. It takes courage to share your work in a new group, especially writing which you haven't had time to polish, and I see plenty of courage - and talent - in this group.

What makes WORD SOUP especially fun is the fact that I do not allow ANY criticism of this first-draft work; we share only what we remember about the writing which has been read aloud, and what we enjoyed in it. These practices make for a safe, encouraging environment, which allows imagination to flow freely.

Last evening,  I read aloud a poem which was given to me by the out-going leader of Field's End, Barbara Clarke (author of "Getting to Home"). Here it is:

"Where I’m From…" by George Ella Lyon

I am from clothespins,

from Clorox and carbon-tetrachloride.

I am from the dirt under the back porch.

(Black, glistening,

it tasted like beets.)

I am from the forsythia bush

the Dutch elm

whose long-gone limbs I remember

as if they were my own.

I’m from fudge and eyeglasses,

From Imogene and Alafair.

I’m from the know-it-alls

And the pass-it-ons,

From Perk up! and Pipe down!

I’m from He restoreth my soul

with a cottonball lamb

and ten verses I can say myself.

I’m from Artemus and Billie’s Branch,

fried corn and strong coffee,

from the finger my grandfather lost

to the auger,

the eye my father shut to keep his sight.

Under my bed was a dress box

spilling old pictures,

a sift of lost faces

to drift beneath my dreams.

I am from those moments—

snapped before I budded—

leaf-fall from the family tree.

Isn't that a beautiful way to express one's roots?

I offered the poem as a writing prompt for the group. Since I write to the same prompts while the students write, below is my own rough version of "Where I'm From..." I've been tinkering with it, because I am not accustomed to writing poetry; it would be a good idea to consult my poet friends to hear their thoughts.

Where I'm From... by Karen Boren Gerstenberger
I'm from saltwater and sand
Barnacles and Indian beads
I'm from starry nights and wave-song
Salty air and sea-breeze,
Bonfires and make-believe.

I'm from grass stains and cedar cones
Pine pitch and blackberries
Old Man Ghost and Sardines
Beach seines and rope swings.

I'm from the Gold Rush and Great Depression,
Pioneer Square and Capital Hill,
Enatai and Medina,
California and Washington
Kent Valley farm and Olympic Hotel.

I'm from Bavaria and Alsace-Lorraine,
Bronze plaques and fortunes scattered,
Ivy League and West Coast 
Ancient faith and new covenant.

But really, I'm from
Saltwater, lapping the shores of sacred Indian ground.

 

I'm grateful to my colleagues at Field's End, the program staff at Kitsap Regional Library, WORD SOUP groups, and my family for making this work possible. It is a joy!

WORD SOUP 2015

During the past week, members of Field's End Writers' Community's Core Team met with programming staff of the Kitsap Regional Library. We have a vibrant, welcoming library system here in Kitsap County, and the staff is simply superb. Field's End is a committee of the Bainbridge Public Library (upon whose board I serve), and the Bainbridge Public Library is a part of Kitsap Regional Library, so we are able to share programming resources and information. We are working on new kinds of collaboration, and it is tremendously exciting. I love our libraries!
 
One of these collaborative events is coming up in May: I am going to teach WORD SOUP in the Poulsbo Branch of KRL. Last year, I taught WORD SOUP for Field's End at the Bainbridge Public Library, and this year, KRL Poulsbo has graciously invited me to teach it here. If you are an aspiring writer, a former writer, or a "blocked" writer, we'd love to have you join us for this fun, easy-going yet motivating series. We will meet each Tuesday evening in May from 6:00 - 8:00 P.M. in the West Reading Room of the Poulsbo Library. It's free and all are welcome, but space is limited, so if you'd like to join us, please register at (360)779-2915.

An Inspired Effort, Indeed

Photo credit: North Kitsap Herald's Kitsap Week

Richard Walker of Kitsap Newspaper Group has written a sensitive, beautiful article about Katie and Hannah Hunt (the daughter of our friends, Reba and Bill), and the effort they have inspired around cancer research. Our families are linked in friendship because of our daughters' shared experiences - though the girls never met in the flesh. Both of them have inspired our families, friends, and community to come together and support research to find a cure for cancer.
To read the article, please go to this link at Kitsap Week.

We are coming together again next Friday at 7:00 P.M. at Grace Church on Bainbridge Island for Hannah's Hopeful Hearts 2015, an evening of fun, fine food and drink, live music by St. Paul de Vence and presentations by two of the brilliant cancer researchers who are changing the way cancer is treated - for the better: better treatment and better outcomes. Please join us by going to hannahshopefulhearts.brownpapertickets.com and securing your tickets! All proceeds from ticket sales go directly to cancer research, thanks to the generosity of our presenting sponsor, Windermere Real Estate of Bainbridge Island.

All funds raised at the event go directly to cancer research!

Bloedel Reserve's Stroll for Well-Being

You have likely read here about the Stroll for Well-Being at the Bloedel Reserve - how much I enjoyed the pilot program in 2014, how it inspired me to photograph, write and draw from nature, and the peace and healing which I experienced as a result.

Part of the reason I loved this program is expressed by Mark Nepo in his Book of Awakening, in the passage for March 12th (titled "In the Likeness of Everything"):

In truth, we each carry within our own innate makeup, like chromosomes, the minute aspects of everything that forms the Universe. And so, the art of freedom becomes the necessary adventure of grasping the secrets that are everywhere in the open and stirring their aspects within us, in such a way that we come alive: learning from the fish how to surface and dive, from the flower how to open and accept, from the stone how to crack and let the light in, and from the birds that wings are more useful at times than brains.

I'm thrilled to report that I have been invited to be a facilitator of the program, starting next month. The founder of the Stroll for Well-Being at Morikami Museum and Japanese Gardens is Dr. Ruth G. McCaffrey (a professor at Christine E. Lynn College of Nursing, Florida Atlantic University). Dr. McCaffrey facilitated the pilot program for us last year, and it will be a privilege to work alongside her and to learn from all of her experiences.

If you live in the area and are interested in joining the program, please contact Erin Jennings at ejennings@bloedelreserve.org - we'd love to welcome you!

"If a Schmuck Like Me Can Do It..."

In the early seventies a friend kept telling me, “Whatever you do, don’t try to make those feelings go away.” His advice went on: “Anything you can learn about working with your sense of discouragement or your sense of fear or your sense of bewilderment or your sense of feeling inferior or your sense of resentment—anything you can do to work with those things—do it, please, because it will be such an inspiration to other people.” 

That was really good advice. So when I would start to become depressed, I would remember, “Now wait a minute. Maybe I just have to figure out how to rouse myself genuinely, because there are a lot of people suffering like this, and if I can do it, they can do it.” I felt a sense of interconnectedness. “If a schmuck like me can do it, anybody can do it.” That’s what I used to say, that if a miserable person like me—who’s completely caught up in anger and depression and betrayal—if I can do it, then anyone can do it, so I’m going to try.  - The Wisdom of No Escape by Pema Chödrön (pages 100–101)

I'm grateful that Pema Chodron persevered in this. Her writings have inspired me.

Have you ever thought of your own journey in this way? Has it occurred to you that what you have been through - whatever it is that has been an occasion for your perseverance - might give others hope in their own times of trial or darkness?

A number of bloggers and other writers have provided this kind of inspiration for me. Many of them are featured on my blog's sidebar; some of them have written books which I've shared here. Some have served as a kind of "lifeline" for me in the depths of my grief, or during times of betrayal, or losing sight of the next step in the way forward.

If you are enduring a dark time, I hope you will consider that honoring your own inner journey might just be the way through to the light for you. Write down your feelings, draw them, dance, or walk, or paint, plant a garden, write music - whatever comes to you creatively - do it. You needn't share publicly unless you are moved to do so, but do honor your feelings; don't bury or ignore them. Your journey matters, your life matters, and the fact that you find your way through the darkness to the light (and how you do it) may someday instill hope in someone who has lost sight of how to find their way. Remember Pema's words, "If a schmuck like me can do it, anyone can do it."

My mom sent me this glass dish with butterflies in it in honor of Katie's 20th birthday. I filled it with treasures found on the beach on that day. Do you see the "angel's wing" shell on top?

Isn't that a "heavenly" gift?

Hello? Anyone Still Out There?

Blogger, how I've missed you! Happy New Year!

I can hardly believe that it's been so long since we've spent time together - reflecting, savoring, sharing moments of meaning. I have missed you so very much, and it feels absolutely wonderful to sit down with you again.

I don't know where to begin. I have kept so much inside, unable to write here due to time constraints, but my photo albums are full of images which tell stories of the past few months when you and I have been apart. I will try to summarize, and begin anew. It is still January, after all.

We went to Palm Desert for Thanksgiving and my mother's birthday...

 cut our tree at the tree farm...

spent Christmas with our Gerstenberger family...

and Boxing Day with some of our Boren family...

and New Year's Day at the park with friends...

and now, Gregg is back at work, as am I, and David continues his search for permanent work.

I have been busy with the Core Team of Field's End Writers' Community, and am a new member of the Bainbridge Island Public Library's Board. We held the annual Board retreat at a place called Yonder - if you've never been there, do check it out. It was a beautiful, peaceful place to begin the year's work.

It's going to be a season filled with new opportunities, responsibilities and relationships - and I am thankful for it.

Devote Yourself

"Yours is to live it, not to reveal it." - Helen Luke 

I am reminded of the gift of Mark Nepo's gentle wisdom as I read the piece he has selected for each day of the year in his luminous work, "The Book of Awakening." Today's reading begins with the quote above, from his mentor Helen Luke - some of her last words to him before her passing. As abrupt as this quote sounds upon first reading, Nepo goes on to explain:

"...I've come to understand her last instruction as an invitation to shed any grand purpose, no matter how devoted we may be to what we are doing. She wasn't telling me to stop writing, but to stop striving to be important. She was inviting me to stop recording the poetry of life and to enter the poetry of life.
"This lesson applies to us all. If we devote ourselves to the life at hand, the rest will follow. For life, it seems, reveals itself through those willing to live. Anything else, no matter how beautiful, is just advertising."

This passage struck me deeply. What does it mean to "devote ourselves to the life at hand?" Looking up "devote" and "devotion" tells us that it involves wholehearted giving of oneself and one's resources; the root is in "consecration," - the word's origin is "vow."

It resonated with one of my favorite passages in "Radical Grace" by Richard Rohr. Writing about Mary, the mother of Jesus, and her actions upon receiving the visit from an angel who announces Mary's pregnancy, Rohr says:

"The events themselves will be her guide and teacher. She does not need to figure it out and plan accordingly; the plan will be given by God through life's encounters. Reality is her teacher. That is why she could hear angels.
"Decisive action beyond our fears gives us a sense of our own power and the power of God within us. [Mary] can hold her power comfortably because she knows it is from Beyond."

I held on to this passage when Katie was in the hospital. My prayer practice had been so peaceful and regular, before her illness; once we were uprooted and transplanted from our old life, my practice became prayer-in-action, pray-as-you-go, the prayer of living service. It was the prayer of devotion, wholehearted giving. Now, eight years later, I pray to work and live as wholeheartedly today as I did then, in the midst of the crisis of illness.

Since Katie's passing, I have accepted invitations to serve in places which - eight years ago - were not even on my personal radar: the University of Washington's School of Medicine and Field's End Writer's Community are two examples. Serving on panels, taking classes and teaching classes are fun and rewarding ways to give. Now, I have entered a new field of learning and service: I recently completed the first level of Jikiden Reiki training. Reiki is a spiritual healing practice which is not linked to a religion. It originated in Japan, and it is a way to practice healing prayer, relying upon the power of Universal Life Force, or ki (which is another name for God). I am enjoying the practice enormously.

This is a natural step, after a summer of suffering physical pain, limitation and the medications which masked it. It is also a natural step, considering my attachment to my DVD project as "the" way to help clinicians deal with their grief and pain. In releasing my grip on that project, I can now see other ways to serve. Reiki is practiced in medical centers and has unlimited potential. Its Gokai, or five principles, are:
Just for today -
Do not be angry
Do not worry
Be grateful
Do your duties 
Be kind to others

In "Do your duties," I hear, "work wholeheartedly,"  or "devote yourself."

Life itself is revealing where I need to go. God provides the inspiration, and the power of His creativity and love, and I follow, as wholeheartedly as possible.

Creativity in Healing & Spiritual Growth

Grace Episcopal Church on Bainbridge Island, WA

is hosting a series called

"Spiritual Practice Saturdays."

On December 6, from 9:30am - Noon, 

I'll be leading "Creativity in Healing and Spiritual Growth,"

and you're invited to attend!

Here is the description, from Grace's email:

 "God as Creator has made us creative. Inviting that creativity into our spiritual practice can be daunting, and an authentic pathway into healing and growth. Come spend a morning with us as Karen Gerstenberger, author and speaker, guides us as we write and walk and draw mandalas as spiritual practice. Together, we will playfully and skillfully encourage our 'unencumbered self' to authentic expression - the kind of expression that leads to healing, growth and joy. 

To help us plan, please contact Robin Livingston robin@robinmlivingston.com if you wish to attend."

Blogging (and All Writing) is Good for You

Did you see this article? My friend (the multi-talented photographer, writer, painter and actress) Diane Walker shared it with me. It's true, for me and many others I know, who have written and blogged their way through some of the darkest times of their lives.

Writing is also a wonderful way to express joy and gratitude, and that is therapeutic as well. What is your form of self-expression? Is it painting, theater, gardening, singing, dance, running, drawing, sports? What do you do when you're at the boiling point? What do you do when you're overflowing with joy?

The important thing - in my opinion - is not to keep grief or anger bottled up, under pressure, but to find a constructive expression - a way to let it out that does no harm to you or others. There are times when expressing the deepest, darkest, most powerful feelings can bring healing to me and to others. Very simply put: when I share my feelings, others know that they are not alone. When you tell me that something I write resonates with you, I know that I am not alone.

I found this gem at a 2nd hand store - the Children's Hospital Bargain Boutique on Bainbridge Island - when we were out taking a walk before a dinner date. It is the original 1961 English translation of the French classic (which was written in the 1930s). It is considered the definitive encyclopedia of gastronomic science and history. So exciting!

In recent days, I have been spending my writing energy on the "Morning Pages" for the Artist's Way. My back is slowly recovering strength. I have had two root canal procedures which have kept me from feeling tip-top, but have forced me to rest, allowing my back to heal further. In the near future, there is the Ben Towne Foundation Benefit, and then a two-day minor surgery to remove a "beauty mark" (I prefer to think of it as a "beauty mark" rather than a "mole") and a skin graft to repair the area. After that, I will be keeping quiet for a few more weeks, and looking forward to a more active life after recovering. Meanwhile, the view from here is always changing...

This ship belongs to the cruise line for which David is working. It sails in and out of our town's harbor about once a week in the warm months.

Bird prints on our beach

Summer moonrise

Dramatic moonrise

Double rainbow in the midst of a summer shower

Wishing you a happy weekend!

"Hope for a Sea Change" by Elizabeth Aquino

My friend, the very talented writer Elizabeth Aquino of the blog "A Moon, Worn as if it Had Been a Shell," has written a gorgeous new memoir called  
"Hope for a Sea Change."
 
 It's available in eBook form for only $2.99 from
Amazon.com and
SheBooks.
I hope you will follow one of these links and order a copy. You can read it in one sitting, and I'll bet you will, because you won't want to put it down. Elizabeth's writing is gorgeous, and her story will give you a glimpse into what life is like for an intelligent, energetic, witty, loving, creative, dedicated woman when she is faced with the sudden onset of a mysterious illness in her precious first child.

Elizabeth's writing is insightful, honest, clear, and yet filled with feeling. Her descriptions of life with a critical illness in the family - of adjusting, coping, and seeking help from "the best of the best" - are gripping, intense and luminous. I could feel her hope, discouragement, wonder, exhaustion and dark humor as she tells Sophie's story. The only downside of this memoir is that I wish it was longer.

One of the bonds which we share is the birth date of our only daughters. Sophie and Katie were born on the same day, in the same year. Though I have never met Sophie, I was fortunate to be able to meet Elizabeth in Victoria, B.C. last year when she was on a respite break, provided to her by Caregifted. Elizabeth's voice and sensibility is a gift in my life, and I know that it will be in yours, once you dip into her beautiful prose.

That's Elizabeth on the right, across from Kim of the "Art in Red Wagons" blog

Elizabeth's writing and friendship have been lights on my path since I met her in the blogisphere. I recommend you visit her blog, as well as download her memoir. If you are anything like me, they will leave you you wanting to read more. I can't wait until she finishes and publishes the long version - but please, don't wait! Order your copy today. It costs less than a latte, and its impact will be far more lasting and beneficial to you than a rush of caffeine.

The Stories We Tell

The woman and the young boy sat on the grass, relaxing together. They appeared to be picking something - perhaps the daisies that grow plentifully among the blades of grass in the park.

I thought, That's what kids need - adults who will lie in the grass with them and make daisy chains. They don't need electronics; they need time outdoors, to relax in the fresh air and use their imagination.

As we continued walking toward them, the boy stood up, and I noticed that he had something in his hand. It was a metal detector. The woman (his mother?) held a trowel. He was searching the ground with the metal detector. We heard a high-pitched noise as the detector found something. When it did, the woman dug up patches of grass with the trowel.

They weren't just enjoying sitting and imagining in the fresh air; they were using electronics.

My husband said, Someone fell for a sales pitch - they must have listened to an infomercial and bought that metal detector. I replied, Or someone found the metal detector in Grandpa's garage.

 And then I thought, So many assumptions in the stories we make up from the things that we see. How often are we correct? How many times are we mistaken? Does it matter? What makes a good story?

The Genius & Wisdom of Rumi

“Let the beauty we love be what we do. There are hundreds of ways to kneel and kiss the ground.” 

“When you do things from your soul, you feel a river moving in you, a joy.”

“Don’t grieve. Anything you lose comes round in another form.”

“What you seek is seeking you.”   

“The wound is the place where the Light enters you." ― Rumi