The Lovely Month of May

I am finally going through photos from May, and taking time to catch my breath in writing. This month has been so full of good activity that I haven't been able to stop to write about it here. Daily reflection: yes; blogging: not so much.

Awaking early today, the quiet beckons me to sit and write.

Photo credit: Rebecca L./Field's End

Four weeks of Word Soup have been completed. What a wonderful group of talented, open-hearted writers! Each one was receptive to varied writing prompts, and engaged in sharing and commenting supportively on others' work. We were impressed, entertained, intrigued and stimulated by their contributions. I am now in the process of gathering insights from participants. It is a pleasure to lead this workshop, and I am thankful to Kitsap Regional Library's Poulsbo Branch for hosting it.

We had a beautiful Mother's Day. My family gathered to celebrate our mom with brunch in one of our favorite places on Lake Washington.

David was at work, so he joined us later for dinner. This was his generous gift to me (along with a card, which I treasure):

He has been working at his aunt and uncle's business, Savage Plants & Landscape. Isn't that vase fantastic?

We had the pleasure of a long-awaited visit from treasured, far-away, on-line friends in May.

I met Karen through her blog, "From Paradise to Plan B." She and her husband, Joe, had dinner with us on a layover between flights many months ago, but this time, they came to our home for brunch, a beach walk and blessed hours of conversation.

"Love is everything. Everything else is just everything else" - a gift from Karen & Joe

After these two visits, Karen and Joe feel like true friends of many years' standing, though we have mainly known one another from a great distance, and through writing. This is one of the many gifts of blogging: meaningful connections with people you would never know otherwise. We look forward to seeing them again!

The Bainbridge Public Library's new board members took a tour of other Kitsap Regional Libraries (of which BPL is a member). This was an educational and fruitful day; I learned a great deal about the services and contributions to our community which each branch makes, and how things work at the central "hub" of the system. Public libraries are truly democratic institutions. We serve all of the public, from children to senior citizens, from early reading programs to help with job searches and income tax preparation. Students find a safe, quiet place to study, read, access media and take online exams; researchers have access to expert help and free resources; genealogists have a resource room dedicated to their own pursuits; meeting space is available to all; a bookmobile travels to serve those who cannot travel to their local branch. The library is an astonishingly diverse gift for everyone, and it is a privilege to serve as a member of its board.

And then there was the anniversary weekend. Gregg and I have been married for 24 years, and we made the trip to Victoria, B.C. to mark the occasion. As usual, it was blissful. How do I love Vancouver Island? Let me count the ways...

On this annual trip, we have highlights which are favorites, and lots of time to improvise in between. Some of the highlights:

Water views, everywhere

Anniversary dinner at Cafe Brio

Oohhhhh: Sticky Date Toffee Pudding and Venturi-Schulze Brandenburg #3

Live music after dinner

Swiftsure sailboats on the way out of the harbour to start the race

Flowers in town

We walked 8-10 miles each day, window-shopped, explored, visited two farmer's markets, ate and drank and slept well.

A happy husband

I am grateful to this man for his faithful friendship and love over the past 24 years, "for better or for worse, in sickness and in health, for richer or poorer." We have experienced all of those things together. Looking forward to the next 24 years, God willing!

David is packing for his move to Montana (he leaves today), so we took him out for dinner last night at his favorite local pub.

We have so enjoyed having him with us, but are thrilled for him to embark upon his new adventure. Bon voyage, David!

My Happy Place

We took a vacation. It was grand.

I'm taking longer than usual to get back to our "normal" life, because I have a pinched nerve in my neck. (If you know me well, or even know me on facebook, you'll be aware that I do NOT write about aches, pains, viruses or day-to-day illness, out of respect for others, particularly those who suffer from really serious conditions.)

This has been going on for several weeks, since before we left for Canada, and has prevented me from writing or reading for any length of time. That's why I've been absent from here, and from reading your blogs. All these weeks, I have been itching to read and write, so here I am, with my laptop perched on two large cushions so as not to irritate my neck.

It is good to be away from home on the anniversary of Katie's passing. As the day approaches, I worry that if I am in our house, I will walk by the door of her room, go in, and re-live her death, moment by moment. I realize that I don't have do that, but feel helpless to stop myself. It takes an annual effort to resist re-living the entire month preceding her passing. So I planned our vacation to take us away over the day it happened, and it went well.

The best way to tell you about it is in photographs...they really are worth a thousand words.

That's Gregg and David in the distance. We walked for hours and had a picnic lunch on this beach - my favorite place to hike

My friend Teri calls this a "God-circle" - shining on Incinerator Rock. I saw more than one of these on this trip

Surfers love this cove

David finally talked us into doing something we have been resisting (for reasons of economy) for several years: taking a seaplane trip to Hot Springs Cove. It was a blast.

My father used to fly a single-engine retractable (landing gear) plane called a Mooney 201, so I love small planes, but have never been in a seaplane before. Gregg has, but David and I had not. This trip included a hike out through old-growth forest on a beautifully-maintained boardwalk to three, natural hot spring pools. Gregg and David carried our lunch, water, towels and a change of clothes.

If you thought you saw this in the slideshow,

you did. 

We were stunned to come across it on our hike out to the cove. 

It felt like a love-message from our girl.

We saw thousands of these (known as "sail jellyfish," though they are not jellyfish), which rarely come ashore,

and we saw Spiderman's underpants, on the sidewalk in Victoria. If you see him, beware - he's going commando!

We stopped at a tiny winery to buy a couple of bottles of their excellent wines which are unavailable in the U.S. This is the Venturi-Schultze Brandenburg #3 dessert wine, and I highly recommend it - particularly if you accompany it with a serving of sticky date-toffee pudding.

We took beautiful walks through the countryside and city.

Community garden in James Bay neighborhood

We ate fabulous food and met interesting, fun, kindhearted people. We spent time together as a family, just the three of us. It was pure joy.

Spoiler alert: this might be our Christmas card.

Whenever we visit, I feel as if I want to move to Vancouver Island - for good. It is my "happy place," so while we're always glad to be home, we had a heavenly vacation. And I felt Katie's presence in so many lovely ways that it was easy not to grieve for her - even on the 16th.

Thanks to all of you who sent messages, thoughts and love during this time. I deeply appreciate it, and want you to know that we are well...and happy.

Victoria

I love Canada. I feel so "at home" in British Columbia that, every time we visit, I have fantasies of living there.

Victoria is one of my favorite cities. It has an international feeling, a historic sense, and yet it has a manageable size - not too big and not too small. It is truly charming - not phony charm, but the real kind, based upon innate good qualities.

When we visit, we walk as much as possible, and do not rent a car. We average 8-12 miles walking each day, and we love seeing the neighborhoods and different areas from ground-level, at pedestrian speed. We love to be near the water, and Victoria has plenty of that. We love to eat and drink well, and restaurants, cafes and pubs abound. There are plenty of interesting shops for browsing, as well as farmer's markets, yard sales, antique stores and coffee shops. We love boats, so the Swiftsure sailboat race weekend is a natural attraction for us - plus, it coincides with our wedding anniversary (or should that be the other way around?).

On this trip, our 23rd anniversary, we arrived in a drizzling rain, so we checked our bags at the hotel and borrowed an umbrella. As Puget Sound natives, we view an umbrella as simply an insurance policy: if we carry one, the rain will stop. True to our expectation, after about an hour of carrying the umbrella as we walked up to the Cook Street Village for a cup of coffee and some people-watching, the sun came out.

We found a fabulous delicatessen that was new to us. Its cheese selection made our mouths water, but we were saving our appetites for dinner at Cafe Brio. We were not disappointed; we never have been, at Cafe Brio.

Part of the fun of our hotel's location is walking through Laurel Point Park, looking at the city from various angles, reading the dedications on the park benches, and people-watching. We walked to dinner as the light softened from day to dusk.

Gregg started his meal with a salad and a beer; I had a glass of wine. We chose to share a fish entree, and Gregg had a half-serving of pork shoulder to himself. Then we shared a dessert which is in a class of its own: the Sticky Date Toffee Pudding with vanilla bean ice cream, swimming in toffee-rum sauce. Oh.my.good.heavens. I don't have words to describe it.

With dessert, Gregg had coffee, but I indulged in something new: fortified blackberry dessert wine from the Venturi-Schulze Winery on Vancouver Island. We are planning a visit to that winery on our next trip to the island.

On Saturday morning, we awoke for an early breakfast so that we could watch the sailboats heading out to begin the race. One reason that I love this modest hotel is its location on the inner harbour. The parade of boats is an exciting spectacle, and we are able to enjoy it from our breakfast table.

The harbour looks quite different without the boat parade. It is always busy, with ferries, pleasure boats, float planes, passenger ferries and commercial shipping, but I caught it during a quiet moment here:

After breakfast, we walked up past Ogden Point, onto the breakwater, out to the lighthouse and back. Then we continued up Dallas Road to Beacon Hill Park, and joined the crowds watching the boats depart. The winds were brisk, and there were were para-sailors riding the updrafts.

It was exciting to watch them flying so close over head, floating on the wind. Gregg was totally captivated. I thought he was going to try it, but he didn't.

We went from the Swiftsure race to the Moss Street Farmer's Market, another favorite place. They have beautiful crafts, vegetables, baked goods, toys, face-painting for children and live music. Along the way, we admired the many charming cottages, some made into duplex and four-plexes, with glorious gardens. Victoria enjoys a drier climate than ours, and it shows in the cottage gardens.

After walking about 10 miles, it was time for a nap, and after our nap, time for happy hour: oysters on the half-shell, beer and cider, outdoors near the harbour.

From there, it was on to the Irish Times restaurant, where there are dozens of beers on tap, pub food and excellent live music. They featured Irish folk tunes on Saturday night (fiddle, guitar, bass and vocals) - really well done, and in such a fun atmosphere.

The Irish Times' menu contains this page:

This is not my view of alcohol, but I thought it was pretty funny. I like the very last sentence best.

 Walking back to the hotel, this was our view along the quai (the Empress Hotel, above)

and the government buildings. Do you see what I mean about the charm of the city? It has captured my heart

I'm thankful that Gregg and I agree on the gift of time spent together as an anniversary present. It's my favorite kind of gift.

Vacation, The 16th and a New Website

We've just come home from vacation. We were in Canada with my brother, sister-in-law, my nephew and his girlfriend. It was heavenly (apart from the weather - and I'm not complaining).

I look forward to this trip all year long, because I LOVE British Columbia - and Canadians. Whenever we go across the border, I think, "I could live here." It just feels like home. We spent one night in Victoria, four nights up-island in Tofino and our last night back in Victoria. Tofino is a five-hour drive from Victoria, which is about 3 hours from our home, and we've found that it's a good idea to break up the trip. In addition, we never get tired of exploring Victoria, so any time we spend there is a pleasure. The flowers in town were gorgeous.

We took a hike in East Sooke Regional Park on the first day. We like to hike the coastal trail from Aylard Farm up to Beechey Head, and back through the woods. After the hike, we headed back to the hotel to freshen up and change for dinner.

Looking toward the Olympic Mountains across the Strait of Juan de Fuca

I love this image of the two iPhone photographers, back-to-back, taking panoramas

My parents are so thoughtful; every time we make this trip, they give us the gift of a dinner out. We took their gift to Cafe Brio, and decided to have the Family Meal - six dishes chosen by the chef, served family style. What a delicious feast - everyone was thrilled with every dish!

David, me, Gregg, Caroline, Jim, Phil & Rachel

The next day, we took a walk and then headed north through beautiful countryside to the wild west coast of Vancouver Island and Pacific Rim National Park. We saw two bears by the side of the road as we drove along the coast.

Gathering before dinner on our first night up north

David, Phil & Rachel

A long beach hike on the day it didn't rain INCHES. Some of those tiny figures on top of the rock are Jim, Phil & David.

Hungry? It's time for a "little darlin' " (a snack, packed from the lodge)

A game of frisbee is always welcome

A little rest after lunch

Dinner at the Wild Side

More of the group at the Wild Side - the best fish and chips ANYwhere!

We planned the dates of this trip so that we would be in Canada on August 16th. We have always been at home on the anniversary of Katie's passing, but this year, I thought it would be a good idea to be away. Tofino is the place to which we retreated after Katie's memorial service six years ago, and it was a place we had enjoyed as a family, before she got sick. It is a place where I feel at peace and at home. It was the right place to be.

Before we left home, my friend Robin gave each of us in the Sh*tty First Draft Writing Group the gift of a yarzheit candle. August and September hold the dates when three of our children passed away (the other two are in January and June), as well as some of our group's birthdays, so we are entering a tender time. The Jewish tradition is to light this candle at sundown on the night before the anniversary of a loved one's death. I packed the candle in my bag and lit it on the evening of the 15th. There are prayers and Bible verses which you can say when you light it, but it is not required.

It burned for nearly 24 hours, and brought warmth and light into the darkest day of the year. Thank you, Robin! I want to do this every year from now on. It was a real comfort.

We drank a toast to Katie before dinner on the 16th, ate my favorite food (fresh Dungeness crab) and talked a bit about her.

I'm not a food blogger, but please! This meal was incredible. Roasted asparagus, tomato and avocado salad, Caesar salad, homemade focaccia, risotto with peas, all the crab you could eat (with drawn butter and a finger bowl) AND dessert.

It was a gentle day - thoughtful, but not mournful. I did not spend it reviewing and re-living the day of Katie's death, hour by hour, as I have tended to do in the past. Being with family who knew and loved Katie provided solace and community. Hearing from friends and family online provided comfort and a warmth that I had not expected. Thanks to each one who wrote to us; I never expect people to remember the date, but when they do, it is very sweet.

When we went to our cabin to get ready for bed that night, the candle had burned all the way down. It was somehow just the right timing.

We explored many of our favorite beaches and trails, did a lot of walking in the rain, read, played games, talked, read more, sat by the fire, slept and ate well. One day it rained three inches - IN ONE DAY, in August. I'm not griping- we knew that were next to a rain forest - but this has never happened to us before, in any of the seven years we have made this trip. It did not in any way ruin the vacation, but it was a surprise.

Back in Victoria, in a Scottish pub which had live music and a couple of dozen beers on tap

A toast to a wonderful vacation

Lastly, I have an announcement: I have created a new website. The address is: www.karengerstenberger.com
It is still "under construction," and was launched today. Please stop by, take a look around, and leave any constructive comments you have about it here. I'm just learning how to build it, and want it to be the best it can be.