"I Can Do Hard Things"

We had a happy Easter here - David surprised us by coming home for the weekend, and we hosted family for dinner. I hope your weekend was equally happy.

I've recently been blessed by a series of letters from the pastor of Grace Episcopal church on Bainbridge Island; they have enriched the Easter season for me. I have been thinking a lot about the events of Holy Week, and what Jesus' words and actions mean - what they meant for his time, and what they mean for me, in my time. 

In the last 24 hours, many sparks of inspiration have flown. Today, this appeared in one of my devotionals:

" 'Do not be afraid.'

"These words were spoken to the shepherds at the beginning of Jesus' life, and they are spoken to the women at the tomb, first by the angel and then by Jesus himself. Do not be afraid. Do not be afraid of life in all its beauty and all its messiness; do not be afraid of death in all its many disguises - perhaps the death of a beloved friend or family member, the death of a dream or the overwhelming deaths that come as a result of disaster or war. We live in a Good Friday world, and yet we proclaim that God's love is bigger than any grim, bleak, terrible thing the Good Friday world can throw at us. The diagnosis, the heartbreak, the tornado, even the funeral, is not the last word.

"Fill us with the hope, courage and faith of Easter." -  Jeanne Lischer, A Daily Spiritual Seed

And from Richard Rohr: 

"Seek joy in God and peace within yourself; seek to rest in the good, the true, and the beautiful. It will be the only resting place that will also allow you to hear and bear the darkness."

Last night, on the PBS series, "Call the Midwife,"  an accident resulted the death of a young man, and as the characters grappled with their grief, I caught this line - perhaps I'm misquoting it, but the gist was: "God is not in the events, but in the response to them." 

And this morning, at the beginning of yoga class, our instructor read the following excerpt from an article in Sun Magazine. It's part of an interview with author Barbara Kingsolver:

"There’s something I have said so often to my children that now they chant it back to me: 'You can do hard things.' I sent my kids to a Montessori preschool, and thank heavens I did, because most of what I learned about parenting came from those wonderful Montessori teachers.  They straightened me out about self-esteem.  There’s this myth that self-esteem comes from making everything easy for your children and making sure they never fail.  If they never encounter hardship or conflict, the logic goes, they’ll never feel bad about themselves. Well, that’s ridiculous.  That’s not even a human life.

"Kids learn self-esteem from mastering difficult tasks.  It’s as simple as that. The Montessori teachers told me to put my two-year-old on a stool and give her the bread, give her the peanut butter, give her the knife — a blunt knife — and let her make that sandwich and get peanut butter all over the place, because when she’s done, she’ll feel like a million bucks.  I thought that was brilliant...When a task was difficult, that’s when I would tell them, 'You can do hard things.'  Both of them have told me they still say to themselves, 'I can do hard things.'  It helps them feel good about who they are, not just after they’ve finished, but while they’re engaged in the process."

All of these words of wisdom help to remind me that life is not "wrong" when hard things happen. Hard things are a natural part of life, and as we rise to meet them, we grow; we grow stronger and more flexible, more mature and useful. 

The greatest growth in my life has come from the hardest things. This does not necessarily mean that I enjoy the difficulties, but as my yoga teacher reminded us, we can show up, and practice - gently, willingly, courageously (and sometimes humorously) do our best.

And then, tonight, I saw this.

This article (and video) took me back to the Easter love of God, of Jesus.

Yes, we can do hard things.

Pema Chödrön on Buddhism | BillMoyers.com

Pema Chödrön on Buddhism | BillMoyers.com
Pema Chodron is one of my favorite Buddhist authors. Her book, "When Things Fall Apart" is a great one. The link above will take you to an enlightening interview between Bill Moyers and Ani Pema; it is worth every minute of your time to watch (if you prefer to read, the transcript is also available on the website).

A few of my favorite quotes from the piece:
PEMA CHÖDRÖN: "The thing is, what we find if we're not used to sitting quietly with ourselves, not used to meditation, not used to having any inner solitude in our lives, we find that we're very threatened by nothing happening."
"...someone once said to me, 'The best in that spiritual instruction is when you wake up in the morning and you say, "I wonder what's going to happen today?" ' And then carry that kind of curiosity through your life."
"...one of the principle teachings of the Buddha was that he said, 'I teach only two things. Suffering and the end of suffering.' So this conviction that sentient beings could be free of suffering, they could end their suffering. That doesn't mean physical pain. It doesn't mean outer circumstances being unpleasant. It means what you do with the things that happen."
BILL MOYERS: "What do you think he meant by suffering? And what do you Buddhists mean by suffering?"
PEMA CHÖDRÖN: "Suffering?...Well, that's a complex question, but it doesn't mean that we could be free of that, if fire burns you, it won't hurt. If you get cut, it won't hurt. It also doesn't mean that if someone you love very dear, deeply, dies you won't feel sadness. And it doesn't mean that bad things won't happen to you anymore, you know? It doesn't mean that you won't have your personal tragedies and catastrophes and crisis. And it also certainly doesn't mean that you could avoid planes flying into the towers...the end of suffering has to do with how you relate with pain. Let's distinguish just for semantics, the difference between, let's call pain the unavoidable and let's call suffering what could what could lessen and dissolve in our lives."

SHANTIDEVA: "We shrink from suffering, but we love its causes."

DALAI LAMA: "Religion is not outside. Religion is here. I think essential, essential in a religion is good heart. Something I call love and compassion is the universal religion. That's my religion."

Simple, brilliant, ancient wisdom...not easy to practice, but something tells me it is worth the effort.

Things the Dowager Countess Says

I am not a fan of television, but I love - love - love BBC productions, specifically their Masterpiece series. "Downton Abbey" has met and surpassed any expectation I might have of their excellent work.

Maggie Smith, the wonderful actress who plays the Dowager Countess of Grantham, consistently has many of the best lines in the show. She makes me laugh out loud in a series which is not a comedy, but a period drama. I love her and the way she brings her character to life. Here are some of the choicest tidbits, so far.

Looking forward to Season 3!

We've had company for a couple of days, and what a blessing it was. One of my friends from Camp Goodtimes, Leslie (a.k.a. "Pineapple") came to visit, and we had some good "girl time" here. Lots of cozy chatting, late nights, good food and laughter.

Paul & I put the finishing touches on the video we are making for Seattle Children's Hospital this week. The plan is to deliver it next week. I'm so excited to view the finished product all the way through, and to share it with those good people who are devoted to helping others who are sick and vulnerable. My hope in delivering this video is to help those in the caregiving field continue, and expand the reach of, family-centered care. If you know of any group, clinic, agency or institutions which would benefit from such a training video, please leave a comment for me, or send me a private email and we can discuss this. The video dovetails with my book, and it covers different ground, as well. We have interviewed many of the key members of Katie's care team, and their words and insights are priceless.

If you are a praying person, please keep the Camp Goodtimes family in your prayers, as many of them will be attending the Celebration of the Life of sweet Panda (Kathryn Bradley) tomorrow. May God bless and comfort the Bradley family - and the Camp GTW family!