I Will Praise You, LORD

Katie looking at the ocean, Tofino, B.C.

I am supposed to be doing a few other things today (working on Katie's room, organizing some thoughts for Indy, exercising), but right now I want to write this quote down:

"Moses said to God, 'Who am I to go to Pharaoah and bring the people of Israel out of Egypt?' (Exodus 3:11). The Lord answers, 'I shall be with you.' That's all. Simply, I'll be with you! He wouldn't tell Moses how to do it. He doesn't give him a timetable, any directions, simply--'I'll be with you.' (3:12)

"Moses's power is the presence of the Lord. That's all!...God says, simply, I shall be with you. I will do it. Trust me. The directions come as you walk the journey. The word is not fully given until the first steps are taken." - Richard Rohr, The Great Themes of Scripture

This was a comfort to me today, as I am still working on my thoughts of what to share in Indianapolis. I know from experience that this passage is true. God's presence is the ultimate gift of love.

It was also a comfort, as I was reading the daily devotional sent by A Daily Spiritual Seed. In today's readings, the following passage appears:

Responsorial Psalm 30:2 and 4, 5-6, 11-12a and 13b

R. (2a) I will praise you, Lord, for you have rescued me.

I will extol you, O LORD, for you drew me clear
and did not let my enemies rejoice over me.
O LORD, you brought me up from the nether world;

you preserved me from among those going down into the pit.

R. I will praise you, Lord, for you have rescued me.
Sing praise to the LORD, you his faithful ones,
and give thanks to his holy name.
For his anger lasts but a moment;
a lifetime, his good will.

At nightfall, weeping enters in,

but with the dawn, rejoicing.
R. I will praise you, Lord, for you have rescued me.
“Hear, O LORD, and have pity on me;
O LORD, be my helper.”
You changed my mourning into dancing;

O LORD, my God, forever will I give you thanks.

R. I will praise you, Lord, for you have rescued me.

I've got to say, this passage was a bit troubling to me this morning, because from where I stand today, it doesn't look like the Lord has rescued Katie. She died, at age 12 and a half, of cancer. Does that sound like being rescued, to you?

But then, I thought, wait a minute. He has rescued me, many times in my life.
And He did rescue Katie, numerous times. He rescued her from sudden death, at the beginning of her illness. She could have died at home, undiagnosed, but we were able to get her into the hospital and into treatment.

He rescued her from the tumor, by making her surgery possible. He rescued her from death during the surgery, by the surgeons' skill, by the generosity of blood donations, and by her own body, which had made additional pathways for her blood to flow around the tumor. He rescued her because her liver did not bleed out, because the tumor was not attached to her heart, but just barely inside of it. He rescued her and brought her back to us. We got to love and nurture her back to health in the ICU, on the surgery ward and finally, at home.

It didn't last, and she did die at the end of 10 months of illness and treatment, but we had those 10 months. I thank God for that! And my enemies have not triumphed over me; I still have God's presence, and the loving relationship with Him that I treasure. He continues to rescue me from despair, one day - sometimes, one moment - at a time. I continue to hope that He will indeed change my mourning into dancing. I will praise you, LORD.