I've been saving this quote to share with you since before Thanksgiving. You know how I love Richard Rohr's viewpoint, and how much I refer to him. His writings have been instrumental in my Christian education (since well before Katie became sick), as I was studying them in church classes. They have been, and continue to be, part of my life-raft in the sea of grief.
"Question of the Day: How am I ready to surrender?
"I believe profoundly in the necessity of surrender, but I don’t think we can chart its course ahead of time. Our own private salvation projects seldom do the job. Surrender is something that is done to us, more than something we do ourselves.
"In Joseph Campbell’s book on the hero’s journey, he says that the only way to be a hero is to prepare and be ready for when the moment comes. You might say that is the point of all spirituality.
"Someone else must determine the timing, the circumstances, the shape of the ordeal. None of us can engineer our own transformation—or it would not be transformation at all, but merely cosmetic surgery to make us 'think well of ourselves.'
"You can’t choose ahead of time which dragon you’ll slay or how you will slay it. It will probably slay you. So just make sure you are well-practiced in dying."
-Richard Rohr, Adapted from Near Occasions of Grace, p. 112
I am thankful for the freedom to receive a spiritual education, and for the education that I received (and am still receiving). It's one of the greatest gifts of my life.
GriefHaven is a group that supports grieving parents through their website, chats, publications, etc. They put out a wonderful monthly newsletter, and they have a DVD ("Portraits of Hope") that helped to give me hope, back in the beginning of this journey. Their current monthly newsletter talks about grief from the perspective of a grief therapist, who also happens to be the mother of a stillborn daughter (born 22 years ago). It's excellent.