But now I know that it is true.
I would gladly have given my life in exchange for Katie's, if it had been possible to die in her place.
Now don't go getting excited here, as I am not suicidal at all...I am just stating a fact. I have had a wonderful life here on earth, with more than my fair share of goodness, love, gifts, ease, privileges, treats, and yes, even hardship. I have had time, 49 years, to LIVE. I have been loved, I have loved, I have worked, played, studied, vacationed, traveled, built, torn down, re-built, carried two babies and given birth. I have had a good life. Katie didn't get to do a fraction of the things that I have been able to do. I wanted her to be able to have her own life, fulfilled and fulfilling. Sadly, it wasn't available to me to give her my place. It just wasn't possible. So I did the best I could to give her everything I had to offer, including my whole heart's love.
She had to go on, and here I am, living without her. My life is still good, but it is certainly diminished. And I know that I would have taken a bullet for her.