Tuesday, November 11, 2008

I'd Take a Bullet for You

It is interesting, how often I have heard the expression, "I'd take a bullet for you," "I'd die for you," or "I'd jump in front of a train for you," etc. Not that anyone has said this TO me, about me, but I've heard it in books, movies, TV, what have you. When I'd hear it, I used to think, Not true. The instinct for survival is too strong; most people would stop long enough to reflect, even for a second, and would selfishly put their own life first. And I've always thought it was hyperbole, -- you know, overstating for dramatic effect, and certainly not a literal truth.

But now I know that it is true.

I would gladly have given my life in exchange for Katie's, if it had been possible to die in her place.

Now don't go getting excited here, as I am not suicidal at all...I am just stating a fact. I have had a wonderful life here on earth, with more than my fair share of goodness, love, gifts, ease, privileges, treats, and yes, even hardship. I have had time, 49 years, to LIVE. I have been loved, I have loved, I have worked, played, studied, vacationed, traveled, built, torn down, re-built, carried two babies and given birth. I have had a good life. Katie didn't get to do a fraction of the things that I have been able to do. I wanted her to be able to have her own life, fulfilled and fulfilling. Sadly, it wasn't available to me to give her my place. It just wasn't possible. So I did the best I could to give her everything I had to offer, including my whole heart's love.

She had to go on, and here I am, living without her. My life is still good, but it is certainly diminished. And I know that I would have taken a bullet for her.


Karla W. said...

Well said.

Busy Bee Suz said...

I agree with everything you just said....So sad that we don't get those choices. Someone has a plan. Of course we don't know it, but it is there somewhere in the universe.
Take care,

amanda said...

Beautifully written and a beautiful tribute to your undying love for your children.

A said...

I love you...Ang

The Engine of the Family said...

I've missed Katie's sweet little face. You are such a good mom :)

Smileygirl said...

You are such a wonderful Mother Karen.

Warm hugs.

Contemplative Photographer said...

This is so interesting. About the time you were writing this, I think, I was standing in the shower and realizing (first time I EVER had a thought like this) that I would be willing to take a bullet if it would protect Obama and his family.

Where do these thoughts come from?

Tara said...

Wonderful post! Katie was so blessed to have you as her mother.