Letting Go in Order to Comfort Others

Today, I went through our house and selected items to donate for the hundreds of people whose homes have been destroyed by wildfires in central Washington. I put toys, books and clothes into bags - four bags full. 

I'm also donating these items, which belonged to Katie.

 Breathe.

These are some of my favorites of Katie's clothes. I washed them before packing them. It was odd to wash her clothes again, especially items that I have laundered so many times for her. It felt odd because I wasn't doing it so that Katie could wear them. 

It was just odd.

I can't think of a better reason to part with these clothes than to give them to families who have lost every single thing they own...but it still takes my breath away.

I hope our clothes, books, toys and (especially) Katie's clothes will be a blessing to the families in need. They will probably never know what these items mean to me, but that is not important. This gift is to help comfort them in their loss, as so many people offered comfort to us in ours.

Ronald McDonald House

Have you ever visited a Ronald McDonald House? Have you ever stayed in one? If you haven't had any contact with this charity, I highly recommend you look it up. It is one of the greatest inventions for families who have sick children.

Our family lived in Seattle's Ronald McDonald House for many months in 2006-2007. It provided a haven, a safe, clean, cozy, friendly, supportive environment for us when Katie was receiving her treatment for cancer. It was affordable (we were still paying our mortgage, property taxes and other bills on our home while living in Seattle), and very close to the hospital - both necessities for our family. We spent Thanksgiving and Christmas there.

Thanksgiving 2006, Ronald McDonald House

Christmas 2006, Ronald McDonald House

Gregg and Katie in our room at the House

In the autumn of 2007, we attended a benefit for the House. Our sister-in-law, Caroline, works for Alaska Airlines, a company which is a big supporter of Ronald McDonald House. They dedicated a page in the auction catalog to Katie, and invited our family to sit at the company's table. It was only two months after Katie's passing, and I remember feeling kind of numb, unaccustomed to being out in a crowd, in public - and I remember being very, very thankful to Alaska Airlines for their kindness, compassion and generosity.

Ronald McDonald House Gala, 2007

Last weekend, we attended the House benefit again, the first time since 2007. David was at home for the weekend, so it was lovely to share the evening with him. Again, Alaska Airlines hosted a table and donated many large-ticket items to the live auction. This time, I was able to donate two items to the silent auction, which I'm happy to say someone bought at 150% of the stated value. Hooray for generous bidders! One of the items was a beach wreath like this one

and the other was a copy of my book (a suggestion from the Ronald McDonald House staff).

It was fun to dress up and take the ferry to the city with my guys,

 spend the evening with my brother & sister-in-law and her colleagues,

to feel the love and support Seattle gives to the House, and to give back to a place which gave so much to us in a time of great need.

It was also emotional for some of us, and it brought back hard memories. You just never know what is going to take you down for the count...but it was worth it.

Lest you think my life is just one gala after another, here are the piles of ironing that awaited me afterward...

As Jack Kornfield says, "After the Ecstasy, the Laundry."

Flowers and the Hope Gala

I am not going to complain about our weather. I am not going to complain about the failure of 2 different Verizon mobile phones, or the faults of the 3rd one (2nd replacement), or the hours spent troubleshooting and re-programming them. I will instead show you what Picasa can do (and did!) with mobile phone photos which were taken on a sunny day here (last week). We're focusing on the positive here:

Neighbor's shed & roses

close-up of roses

a different angle of the same two, with buttercups below

wow

again, wow!

On Saturday evening, I went to the Museum of Flight to share in the biggest night (to date) of my friend Leslie's life: her speech in support of Camp Goodtimes West at the American Cancer Society's Hope Gala. Leslie is a two-time cancer survivor who also lives with epilepsy, and she was recently featured in the July issue of Cosmopolitan Magazine (pages 118-119), in an interview and a gorgeous photo by Paul Dudley Photography! It's a pretty big month for Leslie. You can read more in her blog (see my sidebar, "Living It Up with Leslie!").

Some very generous friends of Leslie donated three entire tables to the Hope Gala so that she could be surrounded by love as she stood to speak. All three tables were full of her Camp Goodtimes West friends - the camp which is supported by the American Cancer Society. We were there to help illustrate Leslie's words about the Camp Family, as well as to share in her joy at being able to give something back to the camp that means so much to her.

Leslie, or "Pineapple" - her camp name - tells her story so well that you should hear it from her, in her own words. Here she is, giving her speech:


You can also follow these links to:
Her speech on her blog, as she wrote it
Her evening according to photographer and videographer, Paul "Mooselips" Dudley

Leslie's words inspired the crowd to give over $50,000 to Camp Goodtimes West!

A few photos borrowed from Paul Dudley Photography's coverage of the event:

Paul's beautiful wife Heidi, Anna (who has a brand-new book out, called "Wrecked"), Leslie & her mom (Lynn), me

Camp Goodtimes West was well-represented

What happens anytime Paul calls out "NINJA!"

Dinner in the Museum of Flight

Leslie giving her speech
Leslie's positive attitude and strength of spirit are a blessing & inspiration to all who know her. Well done, friend!

From "A Daily Spiritual Seed"

I have mentioned the devotional which I enjoy (via email) called "A Daily Spiritual Seed." Today's posting was so beautiful that I am quoting from it here, to share with you.

"Reflection on the Scripture
http://onlineministries.creighton.edu/CollaborativeMinistry/daily.html

"As temples of God, we must remain fit and always become more holy. From time to time, we need to make changes in our lives - sometimes small, sometimes radical. It may be that all we need is the grace to be aware of the need for change, or we may need our tables overturned. We need not fear in either case, for Christ is committed to remain at our side to help us make whatever change of habit or heart that is needed.

"It is well to remember that the effort itself is formative. That is what God is asking from us.

"Our job will always be to keep our minds and hearts attentive to why God makes us a temple in the first place: to receive God's love and to return it by sharing it with others: our families and close circles of friends, our collaborators at work, the needy on the street, in the hospitals, soup kitchens, classrooms, or at any cross-roads we come to. God made us because God loves us. With that love comes a call: to be holy, prayerful, and ready to love others, even to the point of sacrificing ourselves for their sake. This call enables God to reach out, through us, with love for them and to help them become Holy. This is how the Kingdom of God grows." - by Kevin Kersten, S.J.

A message from Phil St. Romain, Internet Ministry Coordinator of "A Daily Spiritual Seed"
"- - - Several ways you can support our Internet ministry:
a. Pray for us and for those make use of our services (that includes you, of course).
b. Tax-deductible donation or subscription: see http://shalomplace.com/seed/donations.html(check payment information provided).
A special gratitude gift will be sent to all donors/subscribers.
c. Purchase an Amazon.com gift card:
- http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B00067L6TQ/?tag=christianspiritu "

"God made us because God loves us."

In Case You Weren't With Us...

...here is the video from the Ben Towne Foundation BENefit last month:


benefit 2011 highlight video from ben towne foundation on Vimeo.

...featuring Carin & Jeff Towne, and Dr. Julie Park, who was Katie's - and Ben's - oncologist.
Here is a photo of Gregg and me with my mom & dad at the BENefit:

 

(There were lots of other nice people there, but I don't have permission to post their photos here.)

I've been working on my book today, and made a pork roast with carmelized onions (cut along the grain the way you told us, Allegra) and apples, Calvados and apple cider. It was delicious, if I do say so.

"Thanks a Million"

...that's what the note from the Ben Towne Foundation said this morning.
The BENefit on Friday raised $900,000 and a check in that amount was delivered yesterday to Seattle Children's Hospital's Center for Childhood Cancer Research.
That brings the total given to pediatric cancer research by the Ben Towne Foundation in 2011 to
ONE MILLION DOLLARS.
$1,000,000 given directly to research.
Thank you, Carin & Jeff, and all of the donors!
I think Ben, Katie, Jenna, Carter & Zachary must all be cheering in heaven
(and thanks to everyone for your kind comments about the video in the post below.)

The foundation just posted this new video:

Dr. Michael Jensen and the Center for Childhood Cancer Research from ben towne foundation on Vimeo.

The Ben Towne Foundation BENefit, 2011

benefit 2011 Feature Video from ben towne foundation on Vimeo.

On Friday night, Gregg and I attended the Ben Towne Foundation's 2nd Annual BENefit at the Sheraton Hotel in Seattle. We had lots of company - there were around 900 people in attendance! Gregg & I attended the fabulous inaugural (launch) party last year, and helped out at the registration table. I think they had double the attendance of their first year on Friday.

We met Carin and Jeff Towne, Ben's parents, through one of Katie's nurses - Shauna, one of her favorites - who took care of both Katie and Ben. Shauna thought that Carin and I might hit it off, and she was right. The four of us (husbands included) have become good friends. (Thanks, Shauna!)

Ben was only two years old when he was diagnosed, on the very day that Katie passed away: August 16, 2007. It's an odd link between our families. Ben had the kind of cancer that the doctors originally thought Katie had (neuroblastoma). He and Katie had the same oncologist, Dr. Julie Park. He was treated for a year and a half before he passed away.

Carin and Jeff started the Ben Towne Foundation to find a cure for pediatric cancer. They have accomplished a mind-boggling amount in the short time the foundation has been up and running, chiefly stimulating the Center for Pediatric Cancer Research at Seattle Children's Hospital to get off the ground, and bringing Dr. Michael Jensen up here to lead its research in immunotherapy.

I'll tell you some of the exceptional things about their foundation.
1)  Every single penny that you give goes to pediatric cancer research. Their administrative costs are completely covered by "angels." Check that against any other charity!
2)  Their benefits are FUN. There is no auction, no tedious haranguing to purchase things you don't want or need. They have a cocktail party (cocktail attire; no ties for the men), a delicious dinner, an informative speaker (brief), a video, words from Carin & Jeff (always some humor in there) and an "ASK." Then it's over & you get to go home.
3)  They know what they are doing, and they do it well.
4)  They keep their message simple: it's about getting to a cure sooner, so fewer families have to go through what we have experienced.

One of the special blessings this year was being able to share the event with our family; my parents and brother & sister-in-law sat at our table, as did Gabriele, a blog-reader who is visiting the area from TEXAS! Gabriele also participated in the Run of Hope on Sunday - I'd call that making your vacation into a working, movable, charitable feast - kudos to Gabriele.

My brother & sister-in-law attend a number charity events each year. They have been a big support to us and to Seattle Children's Hospital. I didn't want to ask them to attend another fundraiser, but I did want to share this evening with them, so I invited them. And I know that they enjoyed it - before they left, Jim said that they want to attend next year. That's a wonderful endorsement!

Carin asked Gregg and me to be be in their video presentation this year, to tell Katie's story, along with three other couples telling their children's stories. If you know Gregg, that is worse than being told it's time to go to the dentist. Gregg doesn't like to speak publicly, and he is very private about his grief. But he said "yes," and the result is at the beginning of this post. I am so proud of him, and so thankful that he was beside me sharing Katie's story.

It is a blessing to know the Townes, and to support their foundation's work (which is the same as Katie's Endowment's purpose: to support the Center for Childhood Cancer Research's work).

As soon as the photos and the total amount raised Friday night are available, I'll post them here. Please feel free to share the link to the video - you can help raise awareness & funds!

I'm Writing a Book!

Yes, you already knew this, but I'm saying it again, because that is the reason I am not here as much as usual...I'm working on a book, and it's taking most of my energy. Well, the book and the video are...that is, the book, the video, the guild, our family, a fundraising event I'm trying to organize, all of the things around the house and garden that need work...you get the idea.

The other thing that really puts a damper on blogging is when my computer goes haywire, as it did this week. Trackpad issues with a Sony Vaio...when you search this on the web, a long list of links pops up. Hmmmmm...I never thought to check such things when I went to purchase a new laptop at Costco. I only knew that two family members have them and are happy with them.

I love Costco, and I appreciate their extended warranty and the concierge service they provide for all of their electronics, for free. It's much better than being in a telephone "chat" with Sony until 1:30 in the morning, believe me. However, my computer still wasn't working until yesterday, when I gave up on "free" help and called "our computer guy," Craig.

I've never met Craig in person, but he has had control over our computers from afar, and has diagnosed and solved every problem we've managed to throw at him - for me, my brother and his business, my dad and (I think) my sister, as well. He's awesome - and he gets paid to be awesome. Yesterday, I called Craig - which I should have done at the outset of the problem.

What do people do who don't have a Craig in their address book (or smartphone)? I wonder. He got us up and running, so we are nearly all set now - just a backup issue to resolve, and we'll be good to go. My trackpad is working. I can write again! Thank you, Craig!

So the book is written, but it needs to be re-formatted and the photos put into a separate file. That is what I'll be doing in the immediate future. I have a publishing team at CreateSpace helping me. It will be listed on Amazon.com when it's complete - and I hope-hope-hope it will be completed by Christmas. You will hear more about it here.

The remaining video interviews have been scheduled; they are with Katie's heart surgeon, the hospital chaplain with whom I felt the closest, and our hospice nurse. Once those interviews are all completed (the first week of October), we will begin the intensive business of editing the many hours of "gold" that Paul has captured.

The charity event is an auction of the quilts (shown in the recent posting here, and in more detail on Katie's Comforters Guild's blog). I want to share the spotlight with other friends who do good work and offer great products, so am trying to pull together a pre-holiday event to showcase their wares. If this all comes together, you'll be hearing about it here.

Close-up of one of the 3 quilts. Look at that beautiful, antique fabric!

- We have a honey-do list that is not of general interest, but it's big, and my honey-doesn't-do most of the items, so I'll be scheduling some helpers.
- Fr. Rohr is going to Portland to speak, and you can guess where I'm going to be when he does!
- The Ben Towne Foundation event is coming up, at which Gregg and I will appear in a brief video program.

Standing in our closet, trying to decide what to wear to the Ben Towne Foundation event.

You can laugh at me, but I've had to create an XL spreadsheet to keep track of all of these things and their individual steps and stages. It's too much for my menopausal brain to handle without visual backup, on the computer and on paper!

I think that's it. I have very little knowledge of what's going on in the news. We haven't seen a movie (in a theater) in months. Allegra's gift is still not finished (I'm at an impasse with the 3-D aspect of it). 

Sneak preview for Allegra

But I'm happier than I can remember feeling since Katie got sick, and that's something to write about.

Wishing you and yours a happy weekend!

Liger is almost always happy.

Remember to wear your GOLD gear for September!

"Sing joyfully to the LORD all you lands;
serve the LORD with gladness;
come before him with joyful song.
Know that the LORD is God;
he made us, his we are;
his people, the flock he tends.
Enter his gates with thanksgiving,
his courts with praise;
Give thanks to him; bless his name.
For he is good:
the LORD, whose kindness endures forever,
and his faithfulness, to all generations." 

- Psalm 100

Lex Shaves to Benefit St. Baldrick's

THIS

brave, bold, unselfish young man shaved his beautiful curly hair, in Katie's honor, to raise funds for pediatric cancer research.

He raised $575.00!

You can read more, see the "after" photos, and video, HERE, on his mom's blog.

Thank you, Lex, & thank you, ChiTown Girl.

You two are a great team.

You've just showed the power that one person has to do good,

to make a difference,
and the positive power of blogging.
Though we have never met "in the flesh,"

you have touched our lives, our hearts, and you've inspired us.

Kiwanis

Today, I got up at about 4:30 a.m. (Don't be impressed - my husband gets up earlier that that, five days a week - now, that's impressive.) I got up early today because I was going to address a Kiwanis meeting at 7:00 a.m., and I wanted to spend some quiet time with God and a cup of coffee, before starting the shower-and-dress sequence.

In case you were wondering, it is not getting easier for me to speak in front of groups; it is getting more difficult. I do not know why this is so. Once I'm up and speaking, I am fine, but I have more anxiety beforehand now, than ever. It's ironic. Paging Dr. Freud...but what I mean to say is that I need to pray before I speak now, more than ever. So I was doing that as I got ready. And wondering why I said "Yes," yet again, to a speaking request, and praying.

This was my first Kiwanis meeting, ever. They are a philanthropic group of businesspeople, and their focus is largely benefiting children. I had prepared a Powerpoint presentation about Katie's Comforters Guild, and then prepared some remarks about the new Center for Childhood Cancer and Dr. Mike Jensen's work at Seattle Children's Hospital. They are a very kind, funny, informal group here in our town.

It "just happened" that the Kiwanis' Lieutenant Governor for our area was present at the meeting, announcing their new, 4-year initiative to support Pediatric Cancer Research! HELLO! How's that for perfect timing? And it was NOT planned - it was a surprise to the Kiwanis, too. So my information could not have come at a better time. I learned about their work, and the generous gifts that they have already made to hospitals - including blankets! It was a great experience. They treated me to breakfast (Thank you, Renee) and gave me a Kiwanis lapel pin. Thank you for the warm welcome, Kiwanis Club of Poulsbo!

One of my favorite moments came after I had finished my presentation, and sat down again at the table. A long-time friend of Gregg's, who was our dentist when the children were very young, was present. He and I chatted a bit, and I remembered one of my favorite Katie stories, in which he is a central character.

Katie and I were in side-by-side cubicles in the dentist's office, having our teeth cleaned. Dr. Hoover was examining Katie's teeth, as the hygenist was cleaning mine in the cubey next-door. I could imagine her reclining in the comfy chair, looking up at him as he examined her mouth, and I heard her little-girl voice say, "Dr. Nostril - I mean, Dr. HOOVER?"

I laughed so hard I cried, and accidentally bit the hygenist who was cleaning my teeth. He has been "Dr. Nostril" to our family ever since. I reminded him of this today, and we had a good laugh about it again. Ahh, Katie. She brought so much fun into our lives, just by being herself.

Craft for a Cause Contest : Joann.com

Here is a great idea that was sent to me by Karla at A Little Something to Share:
Craft for a Cause Contest : Joann.com

We met Karla and her family when we were living in Ronald McDonald House. Her older daughter, Mandi, went to the Hutch School with David, and her younger daughter, Sam, was the patient. I'm happy to report that Sam is doing fabulously well and is in remission, and she and Mandi are now a big sisters to baby James.

Thanks for sharing this, Karla!

Inspiration from Magazines

We've received two college magazines, recently: one from Pomona College, which I attended during my freshman and sophomore years, and one from Gonzaga University, which David will begin attending this autumn.

In the Pomona magazine, I normally briefly scan the articles, look to see who has had a book published, and check on my class (and those around mine) for news of anyone I know. This time, I read an article that took my breath away, and I want to share part of it with you.

Though the gates of Pomona College have inscribed upon them this saying, "Let only the eager, thoughtful, and reverent enter here," I didn't see a lot of reverence in daily life.  On the other side of those gates is a farewell message: "They only are loyal to this college who, departing, bear their added riches in trust for mankind;" yet service and humility were not taught or modeled, in my young awareness. Perhaps I was too narrow-minded at the time to see properly; I thought I saw mainly ego and cut-throat competition. Yet I have been blessed by the first-class education I received there, and am deeply thankful for it.

I had been very sheltered growing up, and was naive to the ways of the world, when I was admitted to Pomona. I knew I was lucky to be there; I was admitted from the waiting list. Everyone student was near the top 10% of his/her class. If you were known as one of the "smart" ones in your home town, you were no big deal at Pomona; everyone was smart. Though I made some wonderful friends, and thought the quality of the teaching and the beautiful campus were great gifts, in my junior year, I transferred to a small, provincial (and academically inferior) Christian college, where I completed my degree in Fine Art. (My father was against this, and regrets my decision to this day; I suspect he may be right.)

The article in Pomona College Magazine, which you can read in full here, tells the story of a young Pomona graduate, Carlo Diy, who was moved by the disparity between the advantages he enjoyed and those without advantages in the larger world around him. The natural response, for him, was to go to Haiti; his first time was in January, 2007:

"He was assigned as a volunteer coordinator but also wrote for the charity’s website and taught English to the medical staff. His day-to-day duties ranged from the mundane to the grotesque. He helped unload large containers
of supplies and picked up people at the airport. But he also washed the lifeless bodies of children who died at the hospital at a rate of one per day. And he picked up the decomposing bodies of unclaimed dead at the city morgue, their rotting limbs sometimes pulling apart in his hands as he tried to lift them into cardboard coffins made by the agency’s orphans.
     Before too long, Father Rick’s words would haunt him. At one point, Diy himself was tempted to flee from Haiti and leave behind the people he was trying to help.
     The crisis came in April 2008, when riots again broke out in the capital, this time over soaring food prices. Monitoring the unrest became a part of Diy’s daily routine at Pediatric Hospital St. Damien Chateaublond, located in a compound near the airport, northeast of downtown, relatively removed from the turmoil.
Every afternoon, he’d run up to the roof scanning the skies for columns of black smoke, the signals that vandalism, looting and violence may be getting closer. From his provisional watchtower, the nervous lookout fashioned a pragmatic
defense for any scared shepherd who puts self-preservation above saving his flock.
   He’s “the kind of shepherd who wants to see his family again. And surf El Porto in Manhattan Beach again. And learn to drive stick-shift. And maybe have kids someday,” wrote Diy in a blog under the title “Brutally Honest Corner” posted on
his Haiti website, www.onewritething.com. “I’d love to be a hero, but I’ve made promises to the people I love. I’m not dying here.”
   Diy completed his full 18 months before returning safely to Southern California two months later, in June 2008. But the suffering he had seen still assaulted his senses. The repugnant smell of death, the wail of a grieving mother, the heart-rending routine of lifting the spirits of sick children only to watch them die. He had trouble reconciling two realities, one of comfort and excess, one of constant misery. There were days back home in the peaceful L.A. suburb of El Segundo when he found it hard to get out of bed, and all he could do was cry.
   Then the massive quake struck Haiti on Jan. 12. As the disaster unfolded, Diy started receiving news that some of his friends had died or been injured in the collapse of the charity’s former hospital building. He felt so useless sitting at home so far away. When he heard from fellow volunteers around the world who were rushing back to help in the recovery, he knew he had to join them. “You can’t claim to be any kind of a friend when something like that happens, if you don’t go and do something, at least to show up and show solidarity.”
   The entries in his daily diaries after the quake are filled with the horror of the destruction, and an intensified, trembling anguish over the near-hopelessness of the situation. On Feb. 6 he wrote: “I can’t help but keep thinking that there are only two types of people in the world—those who will give their lives in the service of something, like making Haiti more livable, and those who will not.”
   But in his journal he also turns to his faith: “Mass was all about Calvary. Jesus took the worst possible torturous death and opened up to us everlasting life. … Father said that’s why you go to Jean Joseph’s crushed house where you can smell the stench of his unfound, decaying brothers and sisters … and say a Mass. That’s what we do as Christians, to stand at Calvary and try to redeem a terrible situation.”

I was inspired to read about this young man whose spiritual and intellectual riches are truly being lived out, just as the founders of the college had hoped. May he be blessed, and continue to share his gifts with the world which needs his spirit so much.

On the last page of the Gonzaga magazine is an article, written by a journalist alumna, discussing the Spiritual Exercises created by St. Ignatius of Loyola and their specific impact on her life. She quotes this prayer by Ignatius:

Take, Lord, and receive all my liberty
my memory, my understanding, and my entire will,
All I have and call my own.
You have given all to me.
To you, Lord, I return it.
Everything is yours; do with it what you will.
Give me only your love and your grace,
that is enough for me.

She writes further: "It's a radical prayer in this contemporary age, when we believe we can control most things with intellect and will. My father taught at GU's law school for 45 years, yet his intellect and his memories were annihilated by diesease. The prayer acknowledged my father's unique reality..." This insight is a gem of reality and humility.

I am already being blessed by this Jesuit university, even before our son takes his place there, as a freshman in the class of 2014. I'm thankful, and am looking forward to learning all that God wants to teach through this gift of a continuing education.

Finally (and on a much lighter note), I subscribe to Vanity Fair magazine, and must share a tidbit. In this month's issue, there is an excerpt from Christopher Hitchens' new autobiography. I am not a fan of Hitchens. I think he is terribly self-important and I disagree with many of his views; however, there are some fabulously funny quotes from his friends in the book. My favorite is a quote from Clive James about "an encounter with some bore with famous halitosis:" " 'By this time his breath was undoing my tie.' " Do admit: it's mean, but funny. And one more, about a book that Mr. James found to be terribly boring: " 'Here is a book so dull that a whirling dervish could read himself to sleep with it. If you were to recite even a single page in the open air, birds would fall out of the sky and dogs drop dead.' " 
Though I find this sort of comment hilarious, it's very unkind, and I sincerely hope that no one so critical will ever review my writing.

The Metcalfs and Camp Erin

When I spoke at the Moyer Foundation's Annual Giving Luncheon, I met a sweet couple named Jerry and Michele Metcalf. Their daughter, Erin, had liver cancer and passed away after surviving difficult chemotherapy treatment and a liver transplant. She is the inspiration behind Camp Erin, a nationwide camp for bereaved children that was started and is supported by the Moyer Foundation. Please watch this video and vote for her father, Jerry, in support of their work for bereaved children.

The Moyer Foundation 2010 Annual Giving Luncheon

The Moyer Foundation posted the following update on facebook Friday:

"Thank you for supporting the 2010 Annual Giving Luncheon- helping to raise more than $250,000 for children in distress in our community."

How wonderful, to read that!

The event was lovely, and very well done.

My mom and I arrived a bit early, and were welcomed at the "VIP reception" on the 35th floor of the Sheraton. We were kindly greeted by Foundation staff, and served hors d'oeuvres by the catering staff. There was a lovely buffet and champagne, but Mom and I agreed that alcohol was NOT in our best interests, under the circumstances.

A staff member came to invite me to pose for photographs with Jamie and Karen Moyer. I went with her. As we met for the first time, the Moyers couldn't have been more welcoming or gracious. Karen said something about me being "a rose between two thorns." She also told me that, if I had any trouble at all getting through my talk, I should look for her - she would be right nearby for support. Very kind. She was also wearing a fabulous outfit, with KILLER shoes...I mean to say.

I went back to the table where Mom was waiting, and we listened to a few words from a Board member, and from the Moyers. After that, it was time to go downstairs to find our lunch table. We were seated with people from the Hutch School, the group by whom I was invited to speak. David and Katie both attended the Hutch School - David for most of his 9th grade year while Katie was in the hospital, and Katie for the last month or two of the same (her 6th grade) school year. Both of the kids LOVED the Hutch School, and I was looking forward to speaking on their behalf, in support of their excellent program.

Let me back up: the Hutch School is supported, in part, by the Moyer Foundation.  I'm very familiar with the Hutch, but was not as familiar with the Moyer Foundation. After I accepted their invitation to speak, the executive director of the Moyer Foundation suggested that I come over to meet him and some of the staff, so that I could learn more about them, and they could get to know me a bit better.

I drove over to the Moyer Foundation office on Magnolia Bluff. It was inspiring; they are excited about what they do, and committed to doing it well. As we were getting acquainted, the executive director realized that our family had been helped by the Moyer Foundation's generosity much more than any of us had known. Since they support Ronald McDonald House, Childlife &Advanced Care at Seattle Children's Hospital, Hospice, the American Cancer Society's Camp GoodTimes West AND the Hutch School, he felt there was a lot more that I could say...yet still, just five minutes in which to say it, at the luncheon!

I went home and did some writing, and re-writing, and editing. I practiced, and edited some more. I read it aloud with Latte "heckling" me (rubbing up against my legs, purring and distracting). And then I was as ready as possible.

I am not a public speaker. I love to write, and tell stories, but delivering them on stage is daunting, and it's not getting any easier with practice. Smaller groups are better for me. This room, the Sheraton's "grand ballroom," had about 75 tables, set for 10 people. I'm not kidding - there were nearly 800 people in attendance. Huge video screens were placed around the room so that everyone could see the stage, from every place in the room.

It was a luncheon; just one hour. Very good for business people, and the staff kept it moving and on time. The Moyer Foundation volunteers and staff members were awesome, courteous and professional. Awards were given to the Volunteer of the Year, Youth Volunteer of the Year, the Humanitarian Award and the Corporate Partner Award. All were inspiring. Steve Raible (a local news broadcaster and MC of the event) spoke. A board member spoke; the executive director spoke. Karen & Jamie Moyer spoke. I kept counting my note cards, to be sure I hadn't lost one, while we ate lunch. I didn't eat much - I was concerned that I might end up with bit of parsley or green onion stuck between my teeth, and I was having fear fantasies about that - but I did eat some chicken, so that I wouldn't get up on stage and faint (another fear fantasy). Have I mentioned that I'm not a professional speaker?

A staff member came to get me. I stood by one of the enormous video screens, to the side of the stage, and leaned against the wall. My legs started to tremble. I bent one knee (an old trick learned in junior high school choir - thanks, Mr. Taylor!) and relaxed the other leg. Switched legs and prayed: "Jesus, help me. I just want to thank God and do a good job for the Moyer Foundation. Help me get through this. I don't want to cause a scene. Help me." I looked for the people at my table, and figured that at least one of them (my mom) would be praying with me.

My legs stopped trembling. I felt calm. The signal came for me to walk up on stage. I did it.

The lights were very bright. I saw myself, out of the corner of my eye, on the huge video screens. Bad idea! So I looked at my notes, and began to tell the story - the five-minute version - of our cancer journey, describing the Hutch School experience and the other blessings that the Moyer Foundation supports. I was aware of photos of Katie flashing on the video screens, but decided not to look. I had to focus on what I was saying, and try to look around the room, to make eye contact with the audience.

Toward the end, I found the Moyers. They had been seated right in front of me all along, but the lights were so bright that I couldn't see them. Karen was leaning on Jamie.

I finished. I stepped down from the stage. Steve Raible shook my hand. The Moyers came up and hugged me very warmly. Karen walked me back to my table, with her arm around me. She is just so kind.

Afterward, I was able to meet the Metcalfs, the parents of Erin Metcalf, who was the inspiration for Camp Erin. Camp Erin is a nationwide camp for grieving children that was created and funded by the Moyer Foundation. The Metcalfs were very gracious and understanding. I saw people from many of the departments that I had been able to mention: Seattle Children's Hospital's Foundation, Hematology/Oncology department, Childlife; Fred Hutchinson Cancer Research Center, and others. I am so grateful that I was able to use words to paint a picture, to raise awareness and support for these wonderful entities and the people who staff them.

I can't write a huge check for my favorite causes, but if my words can move others to do so, it's worth dealing with my shaky legs and discomfort to help make that happen. I'm willing; I just need a little rest in between times! So I'm enjoying some quiet days now.

"Were Not Our Hearts Burning Within Us"

Lk 24:13-35:    

That very day, the first day of the week,

two of Jesus’ disciples were going

to a village seven miles from Jerusalem called Emmaus,

and they were conversing about all the things that had occurred.

And it happened that while they were conversing and debating, Jesus himself drew near and walked with them,

but their eyes were prevented from recognizing him.

He asked them, “What are you discussing as you walk along?”
They stopped, looking downcast.
One of them, named Cleopas, said to him in reply,

“Are you the only visitor to Jerusalem

who does not know of the things
that have taken place there in these days?”
And he replied to them, “What sort of things?”

They said to him, “The things that happened to Jesus the Nazarene, who was a prophet mighty in deed and word

before God and all the people,
how our chief priests and rulers both handed him over

to a sentence of death and crucified him.

But we were hoping that he would be the one to redeem Israel; and besides all this,
it is now the third day since this took place.
Some women from our group, however, have astounded us:

they were at the tomb early in the morning and did not find his body; they came back and reported

that they had indeed seen a vision of angels

who announced that he was alive.

Then some of those with us went to the tomb

and found things just as the women had described,

but him they did not see.”

And he said to them, “Oh, how foolish you are!

How slow of heart to believe all that the prophets spoke!

Was it not necessary that the Christ should suffer these things and enter into his glory?”

Then beginning with Moses and all the prophets,

he interpreted to them what referred to him in all the Scriptures.

As they approached the village to which they were going,

he gave the impression that he was going on farther.

But they urged him, “Stay with us, for it is nearly evening and the day is almost over.”

So he went in to stay with them.

And it happened that, while he was with them at table, he took bread, said the blessing, broke it, and gave it to them. With that their eyes were opened and they recognized him, but he vanished from their sight. Then they said to each other, “Were not our hearts burning within us while he spoke to us on the way and opened the Scriptures to us?” So they set out at once and returned to Jerusalem where they found gathered together the eleven and those with them who were saying,  “The Lord has truly been raised and has appeared to Simon!”  Then the two recounted what had taken place on the way and how he was made known to them in the breaking of bread.

You may know that this is the scripture passage that I awoke to, on the night that I entered into a real, intentional, free, one-to-one (some call it "personal") relationship with God and Jesus. It is a precious passage in my heart.

There is something about this description of mysterious appearing, this lack of seeing, and sudden awareness, this tender visitation and disappearance upon recognition, that the disciples experienced on the road to Emmaus, that gives me comfort. There is something in it of how I see Katie, nowadays. She is here for fleeting instants, and then gone. I am close to sobbing at certain moments, and then I gather my emotions before it blossoms into full-blown tears. Katie appears in butterflies, in feelings, in photographs, in memories, in intuition...and then she is away again. I have the promise of reunion, but must wait - for I don't know how long. The longing for her is always with me, but sometimes, more hidden than at others. She is with me, but not as I wish she were. She is here, and she is gone. Both of these things are true.

I smelled Katie's scent last week, as if she was right beside me, while I was re-ordering her room in anticipation of our exchange student. I felt Katie's blessing on the small changes that I made.

Zoe will arrive tomorrow,after a long journey, from a small village in France, and I don't want her to feel oppressed by the fact that she is sleeping in the room that belongs (still) to a girl who died. I have cleaned and "edited" things. (These photos are of "before.")

I have packed boxes of stuffed animals and clothes that have been put away for "later," and have given three full bags to the Goodwill (Katie's charity of choice). I will dust and vaccuum one more time tomorrow, and the room will be as ready as it can be.

Zoe's family hosted David in their home at this time last year. We visited her family last summer when we were traveling in France. If Katie were here with us, she would be THRILLED to have a French girl staying here. I feel that her blessing is upon this visit, and upon our guest, staying in her room.

Today, I spent an hour at the office of the Moyer Foundation, founded by Jamie and Karen Moyer. I have been asked to speak briefly at their annual fundraising luncheon. This is a special year for the foundation - their 10th anniversary - and I am happy to be able to share with their community of support what their giving has accomplished in our lives.

I am going to talk about what it means to us that David and Katie were able to attend the Hutch School, which the Moyer Foundation supports. They also support pediatric palliative care, childlife specialists and grief care, all of which are passions of mine. They have raised over $19 million for these causes (and more) in the past 10 years! We are blessed to have this generous couple and their foundation as advocates for children in our community.

So if you do not see postings here in the next few days, it's because we are busy hosting Zoe from Ste. Tulle (the south of France)...but I will be thinking of you.