Precious Days

My mom and I had the pleasure and privilege of traveling once again to Rancho La Puerta in Tecate, Mexico for a week of wellness, spending lots of time together, as well as following our favorite individual pursuits. It was the perfect blend of time to reflect, exercise, learn new things, deepen practices, refresh our bodies from the inside (with organic foods and balanced nutrition) to the outside (with fresh air, walking, hiking, yoga and meditation, among other classes).

We serendipitously met (and reunited with) fabulous, fascinating people, finding our second time to be more sociable than our first - perhaps that was due to our greater familiarity with the place. We shared the same lovely casita as we did last year, lighting fires in the evenings and talking, resting and reading in our little "home away from home." I enjoyed self-treating with Reiki every day, before heading out to hike at 6:10 A.M. I could so easily imagine settling there...

We both thrived at the Rancho, and are already looking forward to returning next year (if possible, by the grace of God). Gregg spent the days golfing, playing tennis, watching polo and lounging with my father in California.

We flew down via San Diego so that we could meet KBL2ORD2SAN and her belovED. Mom and I met her at the airport last year, but this year, our husbands got to join us. What a thrill, after being blogging buddies for so many years, to finally be all together "in real life!" We had a long, leisurely lunch, and left still bursting with things to talk about. Until next time...

Driving from San Diego to the Coachella Valley was a beautiful experience to share with Gregg. As we crested the top of the last hill on Highway 74, the valley unfolded before us at sunset.

Unfortunately, while we were away, my dear mother-in-law, Elaine, suffered a stroke. Elaine is 93 years old - in fact, the stroke occurred at her birthday party - and has for several years suffered from memory loss. She has been telling us for the past couple of years that she doesn't know why she is still here - she says it matter-of-factly, without self-pity or complaint.

Elaine and Ed Gerstenberger, "back in the day"

When the stroke occurred, she became paralyzed on her left side and was unable to swallow. Hospice was called, and she was moved to a nursing home with a dismal prognosis. But her miraculous body has recovered enough for her to swallow soft foods. She is sleeping a lot, but can recognize us and speak a few words at a time. We are hoping that she will be able to move back to the assisted living facility where she and Grandpa Ed normally reside, into a nursing-care unit. As for now, it is day-by-day, with lots of family in attendance, sitting by her bedside and driving Grandpa back and forth to see her. Fortunately, they raised four wonderful kids (now adults, with families of their own) who love her deeply, and are all doing their best to care for her and Grandpa.

These are precious days, indeed.

Gonzaga University, Class of 2014

It happened last weekend - on Mother's Day. David graduated from Gonzaga University.

We can hardly believe that four years could pass so quickly - that the boy we left in Spokane to begin his freshman year looking like this

would mature into a young man who now looks like this:

I was feeling all kinds of emotions during the weekend - most of them happy - and a lot of nostalgia. It may sound cliche, but this truly is a beginning and an ending, a time of good-byes and packing, parties and photos, cleaning and discarding, "last times" and the anticipation of "first times." It's the end of an era for our family, as individuals and as a unit. It's the beginning of new responsibilities and freedom for David. It's a time to move away from friends who have become like family. My heart hurt for every loss, temporary or permanent, that David was facing. My heart swelled with joy and pride in his accomplishments.

Gregg and I were privileged to be present when David picked up his senior thesis from his professor's office, and to hear her words of praise for his efforts and achievement in the finished work. He and his writing partner have been encouraged to submit the thesis for publication! I could not be more thrilled for him.

The house on Sinto St.

Housemates Chris and Erik with Gregg and David, getting ready to play Beer Pong

David and his housemates organized a party for their families the night before graduation. They ordered a catered dinner - a wonderful barbecue spread - and arranged tables and seating for the meal and games. It was a real treat to meet and mingle with his housemates and their parents, siblings, cousins, aunts, uncles and friends. I laughed so much that by the end of the evening, my face hurt - the sign of a great party.

We had a dinner with our cousins, walked all over campus and downtown Spokane, revisiting places which we have enjoyed during the past four years. I can hardly believe it's over.

I stopped in the Mary grotto to pray, as I love to do when visiting Gonzaga's campus. This time, I thanked her for her care of our son, and asked her to continue to watch over and guide him.

At the outset of the graduation ceremony, one of the priests offered a beautiful, simple prayer. He said, "God, you are here, and we are here, and it is enough." For full and open hearts, it is indeed enough.

Watching David walk into the auditorium and take his place with his friends and classmates was very emotional for me. Seeing his professor stop to hug him during the faculty procession moved me deeply. Watching him cross the stage, receive his Bachelor's Degree in Criminal Justice (with a Business minor) and shake hands with the president of the university were moments of pure joy.

David chose Gonzaga with certainty and clarity, and it was absolutely the right place for him. I am grateful that he made this decision, proud that he earned an academic scholarship for each of his four years, and grateful for the generous foresight of family members - for their help in making this experience possible. I am thankful that David was able to spend a semester with Gonzaga-in-Florence, and that he grew and blossomed through that experience.

Son and father at the "after-party"

Grandparents, uncle and aunt at the "after-party"

This kind of life-event highlights the differences between my emotional spectrum and Gregg's, in bold. I would say that my range is like that of a pipe organ,
while Gregg's resembles a xylophone.

Not that Gregg doesn't have feelings - he has, and deep ones - but their range is far less dramatic than mine. He remains calm and unperturbed, while I experience the highs and lows. Having said that, it was a BIG weekend for all of us. Now, David is packing up his things in preparation to move back home and begin his search for a job.
This message goes out with love to all of David's friends and their families, near and far, who have been part of his Gonzaga University life. May God bless you and keep you, and shine upon all of your days! You are always welcome in our home.

The Music of Change

We drove to Gonzaga with David in caravan-style last weekend - he, with a friend, his bike and some things in his car, Gregg and I with the rest of his gear in my car. It was a five-plus hour drive (you may recall last autumn, when I posted about it here) including a ferry ride across the Sound, and a drive through the Cascade Mountains, Snoqualmie Pass, across the Columbia River & through the Columbia Basin to the "Inland Empire."

It's hot out there on the eastern side of the state - nearly 100 degrees last weekend - but dry, so you don't feel as if you're melting quite as rapidly as you would in a humid climate. We had a nice dinner in the setting sun on the patio of a restaurant, slept well (in spite of a mix-up with our room reservation), and got up to take a walk by the river before David awoke in the morning.

After breakfast, we helped him move into his new dorm, which looks very nice indeed. The building has many small study alcoves, a fireplace, with pool, ping-pong and foosball tables, cozy living rooms, well-equipped kitchens and laundry rooms. It is light and welcoming, and everyone we met was nice (which we find is typical for G.U.).

Once the work was done, Gregg, David and cousin Kim went to the golf course for a round of 18 holes. When they finished, we met at Kim's house for dinner with him and Mary, after which David went back to his dorm to continue getting settled. Gregg and I returned to the hotel for the night.

We met David briefly the next day to say "goodbye." It was a totally different experience from Freshman Orientation - he's a sophomore now, and he knows his way around; he has good friends, activities already in the works, and a rigorous class load this semester. David is far more confident and independent than he was as a freshman; we felt completely comfortable leaving him at school on his own.

Miles & David helping to prepare the boat on Argosy's Camp Goodtimes Cruise

The summer flew past, from my perspective. Apart from taking two vacations (to Arizona on his own and Tofino with us), David worked at least 40 hours most weeks, and needed his rest when he was not working. We are grateful that he had a good job with such a wonderful company as Argosy Cruises.

He spent time with a variety of friends, played as much basketball as possible, went kayaking, decided that he liked to relax on our roof when the sun was shining (!), read books, played video games, watched "Top Gear" and stayed up until all hours. Gregg and I found some of his new ways a bit foreign.

I believe that my parents used to call this phenomenon "re-entry." It's quite normal; Gonzaga's website even addressed it last spring, as the school year was ending. I remember having re-entry issues with my own parents, after living out-of-state during my college years.

We allowed David a great deal of independence, understanding that he had grown accustomed to making his own schedule and decisions...and that he had his priorities at the age of 18, which are obviously different from those of a couple of 50-something parents. We loved being with him when it was possible.

There were days when I felt very sad for David's loss of his sister, his closest companion.

I know that, if she had lived, they would have different interests and friends by this time; I know that it isn't our fault that she passed away.
Yet I couldn't help feeling that his life was so much richer when he wasn't the "only child" living at home. I wish Katie was still here for so many reasons, and one of those reasons is for David's sake.

2004 Piano Recital

On his last day at home, David took a break from packing, came downstairs and began spontaneously to play the piano. I nearly wept, hearing him play again. David and Katie took piano lessons from an early age, and David took to the instrument naturally and diligently; he did not need to be pushed to practice. I used to sing along with him sometimes, as he played songs that we both know and love.

2004 Piano Recital

February, 2006 Piano Recital

February, 2006 Piano Recital

As David's hands moved over the piano keys on his last day at home this summer, nostalgia for those years when he and Katie were taking lessons swept over me. The simplicity of those times, our joy in their learning to play the instrument, the memory of what it was like to be an intact family, came through the music flowing from my son's fingertips. I sang along with him. I savored the moment, the memories, and prepared to let him go...again.

We are deeply thankful for the gift of David in our lives, and the joy of his presence.

*Wishing all students and teachers a happy, productive and blessed school year!*