Happy Mother's Day to you!
This may always be a tough holiday for those of us who are the mother of a child who has died, but I am so happy to be a mother, and especially grateful to be the mother of both of my children, David and Katie. Katie is still my precious daughter, even though she doesn't live here anymore.
After her passing, I found a letter that she had written to me, two years and one day before she died. She was perfectly healthy at the time she wrote it. The letter is precious to me, and I carry it in my purse, with our family photos. It says (with her spelling exactly as it is in the letter):
I want you to know that I love you all the time. Every single second of life and death. I'm thinking of you always. You will always be my mother. You come and help me when I'm hurt, you help with my arts and crafts, you supervize me with the hot glue gun, you kiss my ouie's better, you prepare meals for the family every night (unless we go out to dinner), your smile brightens every day of my life, you cook very well, you always help me with my homwork, when I have a tummyach you give me tums, and if that doesn't work you give me a banana or rice from the Brat diet, and you love all of the family with all of your heart.
I LOVE you Mommy!
Kathryn Emilie Gerstenberger"
This Mother's Day, I share this letter with you, in the hopes that Katie's words will comfort you, or bring you joy. She is right: we will always be our child's mother, "every single second of life and death." Thank you, Katie, for a beautiful Mother's Day gift.
You can read another essay of mine over at Hopeful Parents today.