Wednesday, January 23, 2008

A Window Seat

I am posting the photo above because it is one of our favorite photos of Katie. She was about five years old when it was taken; we had recently finished building and moving into our house. Katie had dressed up in a Disney "princess" dress and shoes, and played until she fell asleep, on her bear, on her window seat. Notice the huge ring on her hand! Gregg happened to see her there at just the right moment, and took the photo. The pile of "stuff" at her feet is the quilt and cushions that were supposed to make it a comfy seat!

When we were designing the house with an architect, he had originally drawn the kids' rooms with one facing the woods and the other facing the water. I said, "Oh, no; that is not going to work. Who is going to get which view?" We had him re-draw the rooms side-by-side, both facing the water, but the shape of the house made them a little different from one another. David has more windows overlooking the water view, so we decided to create a window seat for Katie, thinking that a girl would love to sit and dream, and read and play there. (Katie also got an interesting interior window that looks out to the water through other windows, and down into our living room; she loved using this to "spy" on people!) She liked having a window seat and enjoyed using it.

When Katie was able to come home from the hospital in the spring of 2007, the window seat was filled with gifts, flowers, stuffed animals, etc. It still is.

When she made her will, she left that window seat to me.

It's a beautiful, sunny, cold day here. The sky is cloudless and blue, the water is reflecting it, and the trees are still, silhouetted against the blue. I love sunny days. However, when I got up this morning, I felt terrible. I went to sleep last night missing Katie, had nightmares, and woke up sad -- so sad that it hurt. I wrote in my journal and spent time quietly talking with and listening for God. Later, when the sun was up, I went for a walk. When I got to the top of our hill, I saw the Olympic mountains through the trees, covered with snow and blue shadows, majestic and awe-inspiring. I thought, It is hard to be completely downcast when there is beauty like this all around. Those mountains and the water have been a huge joy to me my entire life; they still are. I am grateful for them.


Karla W. said...

What a beautiful photo.

I'm sorry you woke up painfully missing Katie and glad that you were able to be comforted a little.

Sending you hugs,

Diane Walker said...

Precious picture: that's the Katie I remember, from our first walk on the beach, the day she found the little piece of red glass. Thanks so much for posting it!