"I Gave My Cat A Bath..."

 

Are you familiar with Steve Martin's stand-up comedy from the 1970s? 

If not, you are missing out on a good thing.

When I was a freshman at Pomona College in 1977, one of my dear friends had this album (yes, it was a record album, in those days). We used to listen to it and laugh until we literally fell down, laughing until we cried. I knew it all by heart, back then, and could do the routines from memory; I was especially adept at the one called, "Excuse Me," because when my father was out of sorts - tired from his job as a traveling salesman - he had a tendency to go off on a tirade that sounded much like Steve Martin did in this sketch.

Just before we left for Thanksgiving vacation last month, Latte came home with a small cut on the top of his head; it looked as if he had been in a fight. I cleaned and tended the cut in the way our local veterinarian taught me to do it, with warm water on a cloth (compresses), and hydrogen peroxide. Latte didn't like it too much, but the cut looked better afterward, and I expected it would heal while we were away.

When we returned from California, instead of looking better, he had a new cut on the side of his face (on his cheek), in addition to the original wound. I will not give you the details, but it looked as if another animal might have had Latte's head in its jaws - or talons (I dread to think). We have a lot of bald eagles around here, as well as foxes, raccoons, at least one coyote and other cats. I proceeded to treat the new cut in the same way, at least 2x a day, and kept him indoors. He loves to be outside, and he didn't like being confined, but it was necessary.

Gregg helped by holding Latte while I cleaned the wounds. Even though Latte whined a bit, he never tried to bite or scratch us (though he did try to get away). What a sweet cat! I felt so badly for him, having to go through the procedures, so I would quietly pet and comfort him afterward. He is looking much better now; he has a sparkle in his eye and is more energetic, so we can see he's on the mend.

Since we've had a very cold spell here, there is a lot of static electricity in the air. This makes sparks and shocks the cats when we pet them. In order to avoid this, after cleaning Latte's wounds, I would take a clean, warm, damp cloth and smooth his fur with it. He loved it; he would purr and relax. Maybe it reminded him of his kitten-days, being groomed by his cat-mother. Of course, it reminded me of the following Steve Martin routine from "Let's Get Small" (track 9: "Funny Comedy Gags"):

"...Oh, this is an interesting thing: I gave my cat a bath the other day. You know, I'd always heard you weren't supposed to give cats baths, but my cat came home, and he was really dirty, and I decided to give him a bath, and it was great. If you have a cat, don't worry about it - they love it. He sat there - he enjoyed it - it was fun for me...you know, and uh, the fur would stick to my tongue, but other than that..."

They say the best comedy is based on every-day life.

Thanksgiving...and Graduation

Tonight, I'll be finishing my course through the National Speakers Association's Northwest Speakers Academy. I've been taking classes through the academy since February, and am thankful for the opportunity to learn from professional speakers and trainers about how they do what they do. This class has helped to bring me more up-to-date on current trends in business (especially for the self-employed), and it has exposed me to many different business models and styles of presentation, from keynote speaking to workshops, on topics that run the gamut from accounting to comedy - and sometimes, even combine the two.

I'm giving my final speech tonight (I am supposed to memorize it, but that's not going to happen - I have it down to notes, because that's how I roll). Each one of us will be videotaped by a professional, in front of a live audience. (I might even post it, if all goes well...)

Here are a few fun photos from our visit to see my parents over the Thanksgiving holiday. It was wonderful to be with them - and with David - for a week! I hope your holiday was filled with the company of loved ones, the riches of gratitude - and very good food.

beautiful flowers - a welcome sight in November!

sunsets are breathtaking

girls' spa morning and lunch afterward

always plenty of good restaurants to visit

rooftop happy hour

playing tennis: the boys, ranging in age from 21 to 58 to 86

a last hurrah at our favorite palapa bar on the way to the airport

"Give thanks to the LORD, for he is good,
for his mercy endures forever.
It is better to take refuge in the LORD
than to trust in man.
It is better to take refuge in the LORD
than to trust in princes...
I will give thanks to you, for you have answered me
and have been my savior. 
O LORD, grant salvation!
O LORD, grant prosperity!
...The LORD is God, and he has given us light." - Psalm 118

 Thanks be to God.

Things Fall Apart

I've started attending church again. I haven't regularly attended church since Katie was admitted to the hospital in October of 2006...not because I was mad at God, but because I couldn't stand the crowds of people, nor contain my emotions during worship. I've been known to cry uncontrollably in church, which is distracting and distressing to me (and perhaps to others). But I've found a church that doesn't evoke floods of tears, and am enjoying it.

It's possible that I "should" go back to my old church, and simply surrender to my grief; let the tears come as I re-enter that place where we were once so happy, so much a part of things, held in great love. However, I haven't felt drawn to do so, and I'm going to honor that.

The homily in today's service touched on Jesus' prophecy that things were going to get very hot, very bad for his disciples. He spoke of catastrophe, betrayals, destruction, trials and the coming need to verbally give account, or defend the faith. He told his disciples that some of them would be killed, but then said "not a hair of your head will be harmed." What? How can both of those truths coexist? Apparently, he was speaking poetically about those precious hairs.

Every time I hear such words nowadays, I hear them through the filter of what happened to Katie and to our family. It's not an intellectual exercise; it just happens - I can't not go there. All stories that involve things falling apart, ground breaking up underfoot, loss, disaster - anything that brings to mind the end of the world as we know it - reminds me of the year of Katie's illness and death. I always ask myself if these things are true, in light of my own experience. It makes church very interesting.

The privilege of sharing the Eucharist on a quiet Sunday morning is important to me. I love that ritual, and its deep symbolic and literal meaning. It is a tiny feast, a weekly "Thanksgiving" meal, where all are welcome; it is purifying, nourishing and comforting.

In his homily, the pastor also asked us where we go - to whom do we turn - when things fall apart. He gave us his own answer, which was a bit surprising - and it made me think.

To whom do I turn? 

The "right" answer would be "to God," but I'm not sure that's completely true - at least, it's not that simple or direct. I turn inward, at first, when the ground is pulled out from under my feet. I take stock - do a quick assessment - of what has happened, what I have and what I have lost.

I turn to God, yes, but I also turn to those closest to me - my family. That's where we turned when Katie got sick - to the solidarity of one another's love and care - as well as to our home community, the larger community of Seattle Children's Hospital, our church and Ronald McDonald House. God was (is) present in all of those people and entities. He showed His love and presence through their love and caring.

After sitting in church with two of my friends (both of them bereaved parents), I drove home and felt grateful and privileged to be able to worship, as well as to have been able to go on a date on Saturday with my husband. We hiked for a few miles on a trail that is new to us, looked at beautiful wooden boats in a marina, boats on the ways (in all states of repair/disrepair), and then we moseyed through the Victorian town, admiring the architecture. Finally, we stopped at a pub for a light meal and a beer, and then finished our date at the local ice cream/candy shop. It was lovely.

We have lost a great deal, but we have not lost everything (as some of the victims of the typhoon in the Philippines have). But our loss touches everything; everything was (and is) affected by it. Nothing - not one thing - is as it was before Katie got sick and died, leaving our family to go on with three of us here, and one there.

There is a part of me that will always see my life through the lens of "things falling apart." In the six years since Katie's passing, I have adjusted to seeing life through the eyes of a woman who lives with three people in one room at Ronald McDonald House.

I am still that woman: the one who takes a walk each day to let off steam; who runs to the 5th floor of the hospital in her pajamas to shower before her daughter wakes up; who steals a couple of hours a week to spend alone with her husband, trying to preserve her marriage under intense stress; one who shares one bathroom with a minimum of three other people; one who has become a nurse, juggling medical supplies, helping her sick child to walk where she doesn't want to go, pushing a wheelchair, knowing her healthy child is not getting the attention he deserves, but unable to be in two places at once.

Though the conditions of my life have changed, I still see the world through that woman's eyes.

I continue to be amazed that we can go anywhere we'd like on a date, taking as much time as we wish, ordering whatever sounds good. It is such a privilege. While I might have previously thought (in my ignorance) that I "deserved" such abundance, now I know that it is all gift, and that it can come - and go - at any time. Jesus predicted it in his day, and it is still obviously true - friends will betray, disasters will happen, what we thought we could control slips through our hands. Though I have been given much, much has been required of me. Any time at all, anything can happen...and it's interesting that, rather than frightening me, this knowledge makes me grateful for everything I have, and for everything I have had to let go.

What an appropriate message for the week of Thanksgiving, and of David's 21st birthday.

Giving Thanks for Thanksgiving

We had a week filled with friends, food and fun. I hope you did, too. Preparing and cleaning up after a week of friends, food and fun takes work, but it is the kind of work that feels good to do.

Gregg was in Europe on a business trip for two weeks just prior to Thanksgiving. David was even able to meet him in Madrid for a long weekend of father & son time. I am so happy and thankful that this worked out! I wanted to accompany them, but to match Gregg's complicated ticket, involving stays in three cities in two different countries was out of our travel budget. Way, way out. So I enjoyed the visit vicariously and through the miracle of Face Time video chats. (Thank you, Apple!)

I have no photos of their time together. I know they exist - in a camera, somewhere in Florence, with David.

On the day before Thanksgiving (David's 20th birthday), he flew to Scotland with a group from G.U. It looks & sounds as if they had a wonderful time. If you can't be at home for your birthday, why not spend it with friends overseas - and maybe throw in a visit to a James Bond film location? They did just that, visiting the Scottish Highlands and taking a photo near the fictional property "Skyfall."

On that same day, Maribeth arrived to help me prepare for our joint family feast. Since my brother and his family needed to switch places with us this year and spend Thanksgiving in Palm Desert with our parents, Gregg and I stayed at home - without David. It was odd. I kept thinking, "I need to pack my suitcase!" because our tradition is to spend this holiday in California with my parents, celebrating David's and my mother's birthdays, along with Thanksgiving. It's a tradition we love, and we have only broken it once in the past decade (in 2006, the year that Katie was in the hospital). So it was extra special to have our beloved friends and their family as our guests on Thanksgiving, while we were missing my parents and David.

We set the table, made the side dishes and caught up on each other's news. The next day, her family and friends arrived, making up a party of 15 (including Gregg and me). We had a wonderful, potluck feast. I wish that more of my photos had turned out well (still hoping for others to share theirs):

Taylor, Jamie, Austin & Alan with MB's famous Strawberry Pretzel "Salad"

We're so thankful that, even though they moved to Kansas, our friends come back to visit as often as they are able!

Over the weekend, Gregg and I tidied up, relaxed, ate too much and finally took ourselves to Port Townsend to hike in the park and have a picnic.

Gregg made awesome turkey-cranberry sandwiches for our picnic

Stopping for a moment to snap a photo

View from the bluffs

View from the bunker at the beach

Barracks (recognize this from "An Officer & A Gentleman"?)

It was a glorious day to be outdoors.

Now, I'm going to make soup, work on blankets for the hospital, catch up on correspondence and start the preparations for Christmas...and send wishes that you will have a great week.

Family Vacation

I hope you all had a lovely Thanksgiving holiday. We were in Palm Desert, visiting my parents at their winter home. David was able to join us. It was fabulous to be together in the sun, after the cold snap we had in Western Washington.

The night before we left home, about 4 inches of snow fell, and the power went out all over our county. We lost phone, internet and TV, but the electricity stayed on - thanks be to God! I had JUST printed our boarding passes. Western Washington has very limited snow removal equipment, and many hills which become treacherous in icy conditions.

We couldn't sleep, because a state of emergency had been declared, and emergency services were recommending that everyone stay off the roads unless you HAD to travel - for an emergency. Is an airline reservation for vacation an emergency? I didn't think so, but Gregg did. We got up around 2 a.m., had coffee, made sandwiches and left for the ferry dock at 3:30 to catch a 4:40 A.M. ferry.

On the way, we passed all kinds of cars abandoned in ditches and on the side of the road. Dozens of cars. I covered my eyes most of the way, but we made it safely to the airport (thanks to Gregg's skill and calm), JUST in time to catch our flight - which had been delayed for an hour, due to the fact that its crew had trouble getting to the airport.

 A week in the sun was most welcome. We celebrated David's birthday, my mom's birthday and Thanksgiving.

Cribbage between David & Kappa, with hors d'oeuvres for everyone - a tradition.
Sometimes it's Grandma vs. David for Gin Rummy.

Cooking stuffing & potatoes at the condo. Gregg & I love preparing Thanksgiving dinner.

Just before giving thanks.

Gregg AFTER Thanksgiving dinner.

There were many golf games, tennis matches, some shopping, a spa day, lots of good meals and card games.

David on the 2nd hole of the Challenge Course.

Kappa on the 2nd hole of the Challenge Course.

David, Kappa & Gregg on the Challenge Course.

David, Gregg & me at La Casita.

Kappa with a margarita at La Casita.

 Thank you, Grandma & Kappa!

It was a great vacation.