Tuesday, May 21, 2013

Desire

This peacock desires attention. We encountered him in a farm yard next to a run-down house (while we were on a bike ride). For all of his feathery glory, he was unappreciated by his neighbors. He was "working it," turning this way and that, shaking his wings and tail-feathers, but the hens and roosters simply went about their business, pecking at the ground and crossing the road. It was hilarious, because it was a surprise to see him in that setting - and because the chickens were so unimpressed.
"If there is only one thing I am called to say it is this: 
'Feel free to desire, even to desire the Divine.' 
It's all right because the One whom we desire, desires us with even more fervor. 
It's all right because the body-spirit union, the human-divine union already exists and desire opens us to experience it." - Mary Pinney Erickson -

Desire.
What do you desire? 

I desire wholeness, beauty and purpose. 
I desire to live the rest of my life with as much love, courage and commitment as I lived with Katie and my family in the hospital.
I desire to serve God and my fellow-man.
I desire meaning.

At this time, I am engaged in a stimulating class and the homework it requires, in helping senior-citizen parents, being a wife, mother, friend, author, guild-president and entrepreneur. I'm in a writing group which meets every other week (though most of what I write is for class, these days). My daily diary is full, but not oppressively so; I have the gift of time for reflection, and - sometimes - for doubt and wondering.

Am I on the right path? Am I going anywhere? If so, where? 
I sometimes have the sense of a moving target - a feeling that, every time I think I've discerned where I am going, and turn my efforts in that direction, the destination shifts. Sometimes the shift is ever-so-slight, and sometimes it is "A 180" - a complete turn-around.

I am: 
- reading a delightful book during morning devotions called "Beginner's Grace" by Kate Braestrup.
- re-connecting with the ground-breaking work of Rachel Naomi Remen, MD, author of "My Grandfather's Blessings." 
- re-discovering the wonderful training resources from the years when I was a Stephen Minister. 
- enjoying the pleasures of cycling, and the things that are visible when viewing the world at that pace. We stop, we laugh, we are thankful.
Lavender farm in Sequim, WA
It seems that this is a time for quiet study, creativity and simple service. Looking back at what I desire, there it is - answered prayer.

What do you desire? Are you already in the midst of it? 


Sir 2:1-11:

My son, when you come to serve the LORD,
stand in justice and fear,
prepare yourself for trials.
Be sincere of heart and steadfast,
incline your ear and receive the word of understanding,
undisturbed in time of adversity.
Wait on God, with patience, cling to him, forsake him not;
thus will you be wise in all your ways.
Accept whatever befalls you,
when sorrowful, be steadfast,
and in crushing misfortune be patient;
For in fire gold and silver are tested,
and worthy people in the crucible of humiliation.
Trust God and God will help you;
trust in him, and he will direct your way;
keep his fear and grow old therein.

You who fear the LORD, wait for his mercy,
turn not away lest you fall.
You who fear the LORD, trust him,
and your reward will not be lost.
You who fear the LORD, hope for good things,
for lasting joy and mercy.
You who fear the LORD, love him,
and your hearts will be enlightened.
Study the generations long past and understand...
Compassionate and merciful is the LORD...

May God bless your hands, your eyes, and your heart as you go about your days.

4 comments:

Elizabeth said...

I'm at a strange place in life, at once seeking and not seeking, content to wait. I really like how your posts leave so much open for contemplation and suggestion. The photos are beautiful, Karen, as are you.

Lynda said...

I desire to accept my circumstances and live in the moment...balanced with the realization that life will look very different in a few years. No hard time lasts forever. No good time, either.

Busy Bee Suz said...

I'm loving this whole peacock scenario....you have such an eye for the deeper meaning of things. (and heart)
You are busy and moving forward; that is a good thing. Enjoy your days and your time.
I'm guessing David will be home soon?
Love to you all,
XO

Karla said...

What a lovely post. It is encourages reflection and peace...two concepts which have grown distant in this time of business. Thank you for your caring, openess and friendship throughout the years.