I am friends with our son on facebook, but I'm not allowed to comment or tag him in photos or postings. He set the ground rules. I'm fortunate to be his friend on facebook, from what I understand; not all parents are allowed to do this. I abide by the rules he set so that we can remain friends in that forum.
David has found some of our rules at home to be a bit uncomfortable, after being away at college. I recall the same feeling, returning from college in Southern California to my parents' home in Washington. I couldn't understand why they cared what time I came home at night, for example. I was away all year, self-regulating, and answering to no one. Why should I have to consider their rules over the summer?
Because I am their daughter and was living in their house, that's why.
|Cara, Phil & David hiking|
Anyway, I was discussing this with David, and the conversation went something like this:
Me: I just want you to be a man of honor, a man of integrity, a gentleman. You know, we named you after King David in the Bible, a noble man with a heart for God.
David: You mean the guy who stole someone's wife, and had him killed so that he could keep the wife?
Me: Well, yes...I mean, no - well, yes, he did that, but he repented! He was also a poet, a musician, a man of valor, and he had a huge heart for God...
David: Yes, he repented AFTER he did the other things.
Me: Yes, that's true, but...um...oh...
I just put my foot in my mouth and proved a point I didn't mean to prove. You can quote the Bible to support just about any point of view, by the way. It's a big book, full of the truth of human nature! (And I'm not suggesting that David was advocating adultery and murder; he was just following the trajectory of the argument.)
Possible Morals of this story:
*Talking can get you into a lot of trouble. The Norwegians are mostly silent for a reason; we French/Germans have a lot to learn from them.
*King David is still a wonderful role model in many ways.
*Old fashioned mores are not bad.
*Loving and allowing people to make their own choices (and allowing them to deal with the consequences) is probably the only (albeit uncomfortable) way to go, at this point.
*Parents have a lot to learn, always.
"Do to others whatever you would have them do to you.
This is the Law and the Prophets." - Matthew 7