This is not a happy posting, in case you need a warning. If you are looking for cheer today, it's not here.
I learned yesterday that one of the dear nurses who took care of Katie (after her big surgery) has died.
I learned that she died from suicide.
She died from suicide, several months after an accidental medical error which resulted in the death of a small child.
The media had a field day with the error, after it was revealed. They came down like a ton of bricks on the hospital - and by implication, on the nurse (whose identity was never revealed to the public, including me).
I did not know that it was the dear woman who took such loving care of Katie, and us.
The nurse who shares Katie's birthday.
Who came into work on her day off, their birthday, to bring gifts to Katie, though Katie was still mostly unconscious, at that point.
The one who gave warm encouragement to us, and brought humor to her work.
The loving mother of two children.
I am devastated for her, for her family, for her children.
Her death will not alleviate the pain of the family of the child who died as the result of the dosing error.
Her death will not undo the mistake.
Her death is another tragedy in an already tragic story.
I have been depressed and tearful since I learned about it.
I wish I had known, just so that I could send her a card, a letter, anything - to remind her of how much her skill and care had blessed our family. I wish I had known, so that I could have encouraged her, as she encouraged me, in the dark days.
It's not that I think I could have saved her...but I wish I could have been present for her, to hold the light, even in a small way, as she did for us.
I wish I could have lifted even just a bit of her pain.
If you are a praying person, please pray for this precious woman's family, and for the hospital staff.