Tuesday, November 9, 2010

T.M.I.?

Sunrise this morning

Over the weekend, I had the - what's the opposite of pleasure? - the OPPORTUNITY to prep my body for one of the dreaded rites of passage associated with turning 50: the colonoscopy. While I appreciate the fact that I'm alive in middle age, and the fact that I have health care available to me, the preparation for this particular test did not feel like Health Care. It felt like torturing my insides. But I endured it with as little complaint as possible, thinking of people like Carrie Maniscalco , and Katie, who have withstood real suffering. This was a pin-prick, compared to what they have endured.

But I must say, when you've spent the past 2 months cleaning up your pantry and your system, trying to eat whole, healthy foods (with the exception of the road-trip junk-food junket), the food and liquids prescribed for "prepping" just don't taste or feel good or healthy in any way. The bottle of artificially-sweetened, syrupy, carbonated baking soda & I-don't-know-what, the Gatorade, the jello, the soda pop, the broth, the Miralax - oh, my body did not like them Sam-I-am in any way. So much sodium, so much sweetener - I am deeply relieved that THAT is finished. I think we could do better at inventing a regimen that was more healthful.

And they are all telling the truth when they say that the test is NOTHING compared with the prep-day before it. The test itself is easy - you get to sleep through it! However, when they say you ought to have one every 10 years, I am thinking, "You'll have to catch me first..."

Before torturing my insides, we took a drive to Bremerton and walked around the waterfront. Then we walked around Poulsbo, saw our nephew and his 3 kids, and visited Gregg's parents. The highlight of the weekend was going to see "Social Network" - the facebook movie; we both enjoyed it. And the funniest thing that happened was due to one of Liger's little idiosyncrasies.

Our big, dominant, white dog-cat, Latte, destroyed the fabric on what once was our beautiful white sofa, quite a while ago. He has used both corners of the back as scratching posts (though we have plenty of trees and scratching toys for the cats to use, instead). We don't like this, and we always stop him, and scold him for it, but he's done the damage anyway.
Liger, our sweet, docile gray tabby, has never indulged in this behavior - until lately, when he wants to go outdoors. He recently began to walk up to the couch (or worse, to one of my grandmother's velvet-covered chairs) and to sharpen his claws on it. When we tell him to stop, he runs to the door, as if he was simply trying to get our attention so that he could go outside. About a week ago when this happened, Gregg said to Liger, "HEY! Don't do that! If you want to go out, find another way to let us know."

Well, this weekend, Liger found the way.
He walked up to Gregg, who was sitting on the couch, and sharpened his claws on Gregg's pant leg. Gregg said, "HEY! What are you doing that for?" and Liger went immediately to the door. The next day, Liger did the same thing to Gregg's leg, and Gregg responded the same way. I started laughing. "He's doing what you told him to do - he stopped scratching on the couch, and found another way to let you know he wants to go out. And it's working!" We just trained the cat not to scratch on the couch...or did he train us?

12 comments:

ChiTown Girl said...

Oh my! Both of my parents, and a few friends, have had the pleasure of a colonoscopy, and they all told the same story you just did. I'm already dreading it, and I have a few years to go, according to medical standards. But, hey, I'm hoping the "prep" might cause me to lose a pound or two! ;-)

Robin said...

I had 3 polyps so - a repeat in 5 years, not 10. I keep reminding myself that only a generation ago, those polyps would have remained undiscovered until they had become stage 4 cancer. A story you know only too well.

On a lighter note, that year it seemed that nearly everyone where I taught was having colonoscopy no. 1. The lunchtime conversations were pretty funny.

Elizabeth said...

glad to hear you have THAT out of your way -- it's coming my way, I suppose in a few years...

As for Liger -- I'm not a cat person, but that Liger is gorgeous, and he has a personality to boot!

Busy Bee Suz said...

Ughhhhh on the necessary test. I am glad you have it 'behind' you though. Aging is not for sissies.
And having cats is not for sissies either. Poor Gregg. Our prior cats never messed with the furniture until they got older. And the fact that they chose Gregg's' legs is kinda funny...ummmm...Karen, don't slack in shaving your legs for they may get you next. (maybe they thought he was a leg chair. kidding )

Jason, as himself said...

I know. Giancarlo has had to have several colonoscopies. That prep stuff is a nightmare! It wouldn't be so bad if you just had the procedure, but the three days before are awful!

Karen said...

So glad the "procedure" is over. Like you, I've done my duty for the AMA! Your cats are funny little people. Lots of entertainment value for just the cost of cat food and an occasional new couch.

Kay said...

I'm glad you endured. But I know it's awful! Not looking forward to my first time. : )

Too funny about the kitties. They are so smart. They figured out how to get you to let them out. Maybe you should install a bell at the door and they could rub on that. I've heard it works for dogs...oh well then, never mind. LOL

Mary Potts said...

I'm two years past 50, and still trying to work up the courage to take that plunge! I feel as though I've purged enough of my insides over the past several years. Doesn't that count??

Truth Ferret said...

As far as the "prep" goes (going being the word) it is so yuccky and makes the night seems so endless. The "sleep" during the test doesn't make up for the night spent on the potty does it? A nice lunch, a warm bath and a nap afterwards is usually my reward. When that all clear test results is revealed, what a blessing, also.

We've had cats and I can feel your pain about the scratching and destroying furniture. Our family has had better luck with dogs, but our last cat pretty much turned us into a dog-only family. The cat was a Siamese and he was unpredictably vicious. I have the scars to prove it.

AnnDeO said...

My husband just had one and when he was still a little groggy he exclaimed after being told it was all good, "I'm healthy because I scuba dive" And, I am reading a book right now that describes that very communication you experienced with the cats. "The Language Older Than Words"

deb said...

I love how brilliant animals are.
And how they amuse us and love us . And tolerating crazy.

okay. thx for the tmi, because it's not, and it's good to know it's not that bad. I do have a couple of years yet.

Karla said...

It sounds as though youve been keeping very busy. You're lucky that you were given the "10 year stamp." And yes, the prep is torture.