I've noticed that, after a bad "attack" of grief, I feel as if I've been really sick, like after having the flu. I am lethargic, slow, tired and want to stay home and be quiet. I have felt like that for much of this week, since Katie's birthday was so hard. I do what I have to do, but I'm happy to do very little.
I think it's worth noting that we are adapting, in that we trudge along with our "everyday grief," missing Katie every day -- this is our "new normal" -- but when we hit an anniversary or a significant holiday, things get much worse, invisibly, and very quickly. It's like falling into a rabbit-hole, and I think it's good to be aware of this. Perhaps when the next big day is approaching, I will remember this and offer myself (and the family) some extra grace.