Thursday, August 7, 2008

Skating


I have noticed that the worse my inner pain gets, the more I seem to skate on the surface of my feelings, just going into a mode to get through it. I am in that mode right now. There is so much pain coming daily that I am not even praying as I would like. I just thank God for what we have been given, for our family, for His gifts of Mary, Jesus and for His presence, ask for help for the suffering ones in the world, the earth, the innocent, the perpetrators, -- all of us. I ask that I would be able to do His will (to me, that means His Love) this day. Not much listening going on, though. Sometimes that happens best when I take a walk; the motion of the body seems to lull the flitting thoughts into quietness.

Tonight, we are going to Seattle to spend the evening at a college-information talk. I know it's early (David is about to begin his junior year of high school), but this is a college that my parents support, and it's a good way for David to learn about it, while at the same time getting a feeling for what college-info events are like. He is perusing the huge college guidebook that I bought for him, so as to have a sense of what is out there, what the specialties of each place are, as well as the entrance requirements. My hope is that he will do much of his research this summer, and then we will visit colleges next year, so that the application process can take place next summer...and not during the busy-ness of his senior year. From what I have observed around us, senior year has enough work in and of itself!

Jaw pain is under control now. Swelling seems to be lessening, too, thanks be to God (and the antibiotics). Thank you for your well-wishes and prayers.

11 comments:

Smileygirl said...

Oh so glad to hear you're not in much pain. Have fun tonight in Seattle and I hope it goes well for David!

Contemplative Photographer said...

Hmm. it sounds like both of us are in avoidance mode right now. I'm hoping you'll be kind to yourself, don't place too many expectations on this time. I don't think there's any easy way for ANY of you to walk through this last week.

You are all very much in my thoughts and prayers at this difficult time. If they made a watch that measured emotional peaks and valleys as readily as David's new watch measures the physical ones, you'd probably be way below sea level at this point. No wonder it's hard to breathe.

And just for the record, I don't think it's too soon at ALL to be taking David to college events. It took Ali over a year to find any place she liked enough to apply, so thank heaven we started looking early! It does sound like David may be a bit more motivated than she was...

Thank you again - and always - for modeling such a profound faith in the face of so much pain.

Dreamer girl said...

Wow, your son is your twin in that picture of you both holding your niece. I could really tell whose side of the family he takes after . What a resemblance! By the way, what does your son want to do with this life? As a teacher, I especialy love that question!!!
I hope you continue to feel better in health and in spirit. Your honesty is always there, whether it's deep or on the surface. Your desire to always want better and pray for others, despite your own pain reflects your true character.
Have you checked out photostory, it's a program that you can download for free on microsoft and add pictures to your own music? From there, I used windows moviemaker to add video that I took of my family and mixed the pictures to make an hour movie. Really easy, you just download stuff from your camera. My friend made one of her bestfriend that had passed away of breast cancer. The tribute really helped her ackowledge the importance of her friend in her life (and still is in spirit.

My thoughts are with you.

Kay said...

I so hope you're better soon!

suz said...

Glad you are feeling a bit better.
The whole college thing..scares me to death. Next year, I will be in the same boat as you.
Skating your feelings? Who does not do this? you have a lot going on, this is a trying time for you I am sure. You are strong and have great family support. It will be ok.

Sheri said...

I don't always comment here, but I am always loving you. I am moved to tears frequently by your pain and hoping you feel my affection and communion with you from so far away.

You are a good friend and I cherish you. I walk with you, best I can, from here.

Stephen and Melanie said...

It's been a while since I"ve had time to sit down and catch up on others blogs but I wanted to let you know that I think of you and your family often.

HappyWifeHappyLife said...

Karen, wish I had the right words... but I don't. So, just know I'm sending love and prayers your way. I'm sure it frequently feels the prayers you are uttering as you get closer to the one year mark are disappearing like mist into the air but they are not. God is there with you, even in the darkest of times and in your deepest pain. Remember Proverbs 3:5 and cling to that...

Praying for you, Gregg, and David every day.

Peace & Blessings.

heather b said...

Karen...I've been in Chicago at a conference for pastors and haven't caught up until today. Wanting you to know I had oral surgery a couple of years ago and it is just really exhausting pain. Also know I haven't forgotton you and the upcoming days. Praying for His peace. Know that you are not alone. My thoughts are with you...

p.s.
I love shoes too and steal pens from doctors offices that I think write really well. (but don't tell anyone.)

Maggie said...

Karen,

You have been on my mind so much these past few days. I'm praying for you and we are here if you need us.

karengberger said...

Thank you so much for your prayers!