Camp Goodtimes West, June 2012

One of Katie's favorite faces to make, when Mooselips pulled out his camera, Camp Goodtimes West 2007

I spent yesterday volunteering in the Arts and Crafts shack at Camp Goodtimes West on Vashon Island. I try to do something for camp each year, as a way of giving back in gratitude for all that camp did for Katie, and does for other children living with cancer. As the years go by (it has been 5 years since Katie & David attended camp), I appreciate more and more what camp is, and what it did for Katie and David. I can see for myself why she asked us to scatter her ashes there.

Some people refer to Camp Goodtimes as "the happiest place on earth." While I believe there's a famous theme park whose PR claims that as their tagline, I'd like to have those PR people visit Camp Goodtimes West and weigh in on it; I think camp might win the designation.

If you've read my book, or read my postings here on the subject, you'll recall that Katie didn't want to go to camp at all. At all. AT ALL. For her to change her mind so completely about it as to ask us to scatter her ashes there, and for the camp staff to not only welcome us to do that, but to assist us in such a sacred and heart-rending step, tells you a little something about the people and the place.

This year, I went through some of our own craft supplies and donated things which I know we won't be using anymore. It felt good to send those things to camp so that other children could enjoy them. Rubber stamps, stickers, scrapbooking supplies, origami supplies, markers, pencils, crayons, all went into a box and off to camp.

I've posted this video of Katie at camp with Mooselips before, but it's worth posting again, in case you missed it. And this one, which shows a little bit of what the camp experience is like.

Everyone on staff (and the volunteers, too) has a camp name. Mine is "Truffle." You never refer to other staff or volunteers by their given name, even if you know them well in "real" life. I love to see staff who knew Katie and David as campers, and am always warmly greeted by them. This means a lot to me, and I appreciate it.

Yesterday was Carnival Day. In the morning, we had kids coming in to work on craft projects such as lannies, backpacks, hats, fleece pillows, clay piggy banks, bracelets and duct tape crafts. I LOVED helping the kids with their projects (and I can see I need a refresher on lannies). It has taken a few years of volunteering to get over my shyness at camp, and I enjoyed a greater feeling of ease this time. I loved being called "Truffle" by the kids when they wanted assistance with something.

There are 3 wonderful women who are in charge of crafts this year, and it was a pleasure to work with them. We had a lot of laughs. One of them, Rocksie, is a treasure - a mentor and trusted friend, though we only see each other once a year. Rocksie read the draft of my book before it was published, and is always ready to lend an ear (and a few choice, pithy words) to me. I love her! Rocksie & Ginger and I went out to lunch after morning crafts, and before the carnival started. It was so good to catch up with them.

One camper stood out to me from the others, because she was in Katie's cabin in 2007. She is a cancer survivor, and there she was, 5 years later, healthy, smiling, taking part in everything I saw and doing well. It took my breath away to reflect that two campers can be in the same cabin, and one can die within a few weeks of camp, while the other goes on to live a happy, healthy life. I wondered if Katie would have wanted to go back to camp year after year, if she had lived. I can't have the answer to that question, but I'm very glad indeed that her cabin-mate was there and enjoying life. It's always good to see survivors!

The carnival is hard to describe in words; you really have to be there to get the picture. This was my first time experiencing it. There is a grassy field at camp which is set up with a large tent for hairdressing, an inflatable jumping house, softly padded jousting equipment, a table for face-painting, cotton candy, snow cones; there is loud music, dancing, a huge whipped cream fight, a slip & slide and the local fire department's truck (which obligingly gently hoses everyone down after the whipped cream fight and creates the slip & slide area). There are safe areas for kids who are medically fragile, so no one has to engage in more than they are comfortable experiencing, and lots of staff supervision. I saw kids who were barely able to stand or see being tenderly supported by staff so that they could participate in a gentle version of the whipped cream fight. No one is left out, but nothing is forced. In 2007 Katie had her hair done, but declined the whipped cream fight and the slip & slide.

Here is Katie at the carnival in 2007 with one of her counselors:

Once she realizes Mooselips is taking her photo, she resorts to "the hand"

 Newspaper article about Camp, featuring a photo of Katie getting her hair done at the carnival

At the dance, with rainbow hair still intact...

She again resorts to "the hand" to ward off the "Mooserazzi"

Here is my picture at camp after the carnival yesterday:

Thanks for making a wonderful new name tag for me, Rocksie!

Close-up of my carnival hairdo, courtesy of Gene Juarez Salons' hairdressers, who volunteer at the carnival each year. After 3 shampoos, it's still a little pink on top.

If you ever have the opportunity to volunteer for a camp like Camp Goodtimes West, or to donate to it, I strongly encourage you to do so. You'll have a blast, and you will come away inspired.

I'm grateful to our dear friend, Mooselips, for suggesting (hounding, encouraging, pushing) us to send our kids to camp!

Camp Goodtimes Benefit

Thank you for your prayers & support.
The talk went well, and the entire event raised over $150,000 for Camp Goodtimes. We had fun, too!

Can you see Katie's photo to my left? *

It was a wine auction, & there was a lot of wine flowing, plus great food.
If you are local, you might want to get involved with camp or the auction. If so, contact the American Cancer Society (or Google: Camp Goodtimes West). Paul (alias Mooselips) posted about the evening on his blog, too. He posted some family photos that even I don't have (he took them for us, several years ago)!

Irene asked me to post what I said, so here it is:

"Thank you for inviting Gregg & me to join you tonight. We are so grateful for Camp Goodtimes & are very happy to be here, to give you our thanks for what Camp did for our children, David & Katie.

Growing up in a small town, Katie was the younger of our two children, & the youngest cousin & grandchild on both sides of our family. She was outgoing, funny, creative, sociable, spirited, strong-willed, courageous, feminine, & was particularly devoted to her brother, David. They were best friends from the time she was born.

In school, Katie’s favorite subjects were reading & recess. She loved movies & television. When she talked about growing up, she dreamed of being a model, an actress, an author…& she expected to get married & have children. We insisted that college would fit in there, as well. She had wanted to be a bridesmaid since she was 6 years old, & attended the wedding of her cousin, Marcy.

When we found out, in the fall of 2006, that 11 and ½-year-old Katie had cancer, we were all shocked. Katie had been hiking, running, & playing happily all summer long. She had exhibited the symptoms of a virus for 3 weeks, & had a battery of tests at our clinic; those tests showed nothing amiss. When I noticed a slight swelling in her sternum, we returned to the clinic for an ultrasound, & then the bad news arrived faster than we could absorb it. The diagnosis of a huge, life-threatening tumor was “the end of the world, as we knew it.” We had entered the world of Cancer.

We asked Katie what she wanted us to do to support her, & her response was, “I want us to be together as much as possible.” So we moved from our home in Poulsbo to Ronald McDonald House in Seattle; David left his public school, & enrolled in the Hutch School (the school for kids whose families have a patient at the SCCA). Gregg arranged with his employer to work shorter hours. I stayed M-F in the hospital with Katie; Gregg stayed Sat - Sun. David came directly to the hospital from school each day, & Gregg came directly from work in the afternoons. We were together as a foursome, every day…most of the time, all in the same room. We became, to use an auto-racing term, her “Pit Crew.”

Katie endured 5 rounds of chemotherapy & all of the drugs that complement the chemo regimen; countless tests, procedures & scans (such as CT, Ultrasound, MRI, Echocardiogram, PET, MIBG), 2 to 3 injections per DAY, blood draws & doctor’s examinations. She suffered the loss of her privacy, loss of appetite & sense of taste, loss of her hair; also nausea, skin changes, fatigue, depression, nosebleeds, isolation, mood swings & separation from her friends, missing her first year of middle school (& the ability to live at home, including being with her beloved cats).

She also endured an 18-hour surgery which involved the removal of one of her kidneys, an adrenal gland, a lobe of her liver, & her entire inferior vena cava. She used 70 units of blood products, wiping out the entire supply of her blood type at the Puget Sound Blood Bank (please donate blood!) The scar that remained after that surgery went from the hollow of her throat past her belly-button, & from side to side across the middle of her abdomen. She spent 6 weeks in the hospital recovering, & was finally allowed to go home, to stay, in April!

The subject of summer camp had arisen in our house before Katie’s illness. I was raised in a family that believes that summer camp is a great activity for kids, & I loved it, but Gregg had not enjoyed camp as a boy. In spite of this difference, we both agreed to send David & Katie to Camp Goodtimes, for several reasons.

1. I had always intended for our children to experience some kind of summer camp, just for fun.
2. We knew Mooselips, so I knew that they would have fun with him there.
3. There were nurses & an oncologist on staff, so we knew it would be a medically safe place for Katie to be. Katie’s oncologist wanted her to go, too.
4. We knew some of the nurses who were on camp staff, so we had assurance that Katie would be comfortable with her medical caregivers.
5. We knew a family whose kids had attended Camp Goodtimes previously, & it had been a good experience for them. Their kids would also be familiar faces at camp.
6. We felt that it would be a good way for Katie to get back into her peer group & re-build her confidence, socially. She had withdrawn a LOT during treatment, & we hoped that camp would help to draw her out again.
7. We believed that camp would be an opportunity for independence for both of the kids. The four of us had literally been living in one room for months, & it seemed like a good way for them to branch out, while still being available for one another (at least, on the same property).
And, 8. It was close enough to home so that we could come & get them, if that became necessary (though we didn’t expect it to be).

When we told the children that they would be going to Camp Goodtimes in June, 2007, their responses were MIXED. David was agreeable. Katie’s response was purely negative: she was angry, she argued with us; then she became furious, & she actually had more than one “meltdown” about it. Gregg & I held firm, because we truly believed it would benefit both of them.

For David, camp meant a break from Katie’s emotions & her intensity. They had had a rough patch in their relationship, due to all of the fallout from treatment. He enjoyed the counselors’ understanding & their sense of fun. He was able to just be “David,” & not so much “Katie’s brother” for that week.

For Katie, camp was an opportunity to be with people who did not judge her because of her appearance. Katie was a beautiful girl, & she was devastated by the changes in her appearance due to the cancer treatment & surgery. At camp, she was surrounded by people who had endured similar treatments, & it was no big deal there. She wasn’t singled out as “different.”
She enjoyed going to the dance, swapping clothes with other girls, hanging out, having “girl talks,” & the carnival…especially having her hair dyed in wild colors, & then being featured in a photo & an article on the cover of the local paper!

For Gregg & me, camp meant that we were able to rest & re-group, after 8 months of intense stress, fear & around-the-clock care-giving. We were able to be alone together for a few days.
Meeting the counselors who were former patients gave us hope for Katie’s remission, & for a healthy integration back into everyday life. The counselors understood the issues that Katie & David were dealing with, as patient & sibling, in a way that no therapist ever could, who had not experienced it.

When camp was over, we picked up the kids & went to a family party, where our niece announced her engagement. She & her fiance asked Katie to be a bridesmaid in their wedding, which was planned for February 2nd, 2008. One of Katie’s big dreams was going to come true!

After camp, Katie began to experience increasing pain, so we took her to Children’s Hospital to find out what was going on. On July 20th, about 3 weeks after camp ended, we learned that Katie had another large tumor, but this one was inoperable…& terminal. We took her home, & Hospice began to help us care for her.

Family members rallied, & the bride & groom decided to move their wedding date up. On August 2nd, Katie’s dream of being a bridesmaid came true. She enjoyed helping to choose the bridesmaids’ dresses, selecting GORGEOUS shoes online, walking down the aisle with her cousin, Joey, & holding the bride’s bouquet for her. We will never forget the love & joy that filled that day.
Mooselips was the official wedding photographer, & his photos are now our family’s treasures.

Exactly two weeks after the wedding, Katie passed away peacefully & painlessly, at home, in her own bed, with Gregg, David & me beside her. It was less than two months since the last day of camp.

You may remember that I said that Katie had resisted going to Camp Goodtimes. I will tell you how we knew that she felt it was a significant blessing to her: when she learned that she was going to die, Katie asked us to scatter her ashes at Camp, & when we are ready, we plan to do this.

Thank you ALL for supporting Camp Goodtimes, for providing this respite for patients, their siblings & parents. We could not have created what camp gave to David & Katie, under the circumstances. You gave our family a beautiful gift in a time of great need. Thank you. God bless you!"

*[The photos at the top of the posting were taken at the event. The dress is one of Zena's, which was just perfect for the occasion; I felt super-comfortable in it, and had not a worry! Thanks, Alex, Angela & Courtney!]

Camp Goodtimes

Last summer, David and Katie went to Camp Goodtimes on Vashon Island. It is a camp provided at Camp Burton by the American Cancer Society for kids who have cancer, or are in remission, and their siblings.

A bit of history: My mom is the only child of serious parents, and she felt that going to summer camp basically saved her summers from awful dreariness. She always thought that kids should attend camp, because it was such fun for her. I was privileged to go to camp as a child and teenager, and I LOVED it; my siblings were less enthusiastic at first, but ended up liking it. First, there was Camp Fire Girl camp for a week (at Camp Sealth on Vashon Island) during the summer of 2nd grade. In order to be able to go, I hounded my mother until she said yes, against her wishes, because she felt I was too young. After that, I went to a different camp (Hidden Valley in Granite Falls), during the summers between 4th grade and 6th grade. That was for a month at a time, which is a long time at that age, but it was great fun. The last camp I attended was a sort of swanky, muscular-Christianity dude-ranch in Colorado. I went there every summer until I was 17 (at which time, I skipped camp to take a People-to-People Student Ambassador trip to Europe, for 5 weeks). My point is that I agree with my mom: camp is a wonderful experience, and I wanted our kids to have it. Gregg, on the other hand, had never been to camp, and didn't even particularly enjoy sleepovers as a child, so he was never interested in sending the kids...until Katie got sick, and then recovered enough to be able to go to Camp Goodtimes.

We have a friend who I have mentioned before; his name is "Mooselips" (every staffer at camp has a "code name"), and he is a professional photographer who is also affiliated with Argosy Cruises. I have known him since the 8th grade. Mooselips has been a volunteer with Camp Goodtimes for about 20 years; he is a natural comic, and loves kids. When Katie was well enough, he encouraged us to send her and David to Camp Goodtimes.

Katie hated the idea (she is alot like Gregg). David was willing to go with the flow. We had a couple of real battles (I am being tactful now; it was more like nuclear war) over the camp issue; her oncologist and several of the Hem-Onc nurses gently pushed her to go. The camp has oncology nurses on staff 24 hours a day to take care of the complex medical needs of the kids, and we knew some of the nurses who were going to be there. It was the only place we could have sent Katie to sleep over and have fun for a week, feeling completely at ease about her medical care. (She needed alot of medications and had a feeding tube, and there is just a great deal of worry built into your life when your child has cancer. Handing over her care was difficult, emotionally, and it took careful planning, typing up a schedule and detailed instructions as to how we did everything.) We did prevail upon Katie to go. She was in a terrible mood the day we took her and David to camp. I was a bit nervous, but excited for them.

They ended up having a wonderful time. David got a break from the intensity of the changes in their relationship, and met other people who understood the turn his life had taken. He swam, rode bikes, played basketball, had a waterfight and went fishing. Katie made new friends, swapped clothes, danced, took a cruise, was silly, had her hair dyed at a carnival, had her picture on the front page of the local newspaper and enjoyed being a "normal" pre-teen girl again, among people who wouldn't stare at her feeding tube and super-short hair, and who knew what living with cancer was...yet were still having fun. In fact, when Katie found out she was going to die, she asked to have her ashes scattered AT CAMP. That tells you something about what it meant to her.

Mooselips took many photos of the kids --way more of Katie; sorry, there's only one of you, David! He also took some great video, but I don't have the ability to post it here.

If you have a chance to volunteer, or to donate, please think about Camp Goodtimes or any of the camps for sick children. It is a miracle and a blessing to have such a thing available, for the patients, their siblings and parents. Go to http://www.cancer.org/docroot/COM/content/div_Northwest/COM_5_1x_Camp_Goodtimes.asp?sitearea=COM if you want to learn more.

To see the article, Katie's photo from the front page and quotes from her (they spelled her name wrong, but oh, well), go to http://www.vashonbeachcomber.com/ and type Camp Goodtimes in the search box. The link to the article will pop up.