tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6994832747844483996.post1848912776011969330..comments2023-09-23T03:56:08.149-07:00Comments on Gberger: FearGbergerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08895779471612397202noreply@blogger.comBlogger8125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6994832747844483996.post-5902712414792702822009-08-15T05:47:38.128-07:002009-08-15T05:47:38.128-07:00no one understands the fear that a Mother has for ...no one understands the fear that a Mother has for her child unless it is another Mother, and no Mother can comprehend the fear a Mother has such as your self unless you have lost a child. I don't think your son's look was an upset "at you" look it is a more look of upset "for you". He probably just wished that you could enjoy it the way he was. You know my daughter was a way at college for four years and even though I worried about her I did not know what she was doing most of the time. But she now has moved back home to get her Physical Therapy doctorate at a local University and now I am more worried then ever because she is always on the go with her boyfriend, her job and her friends and I never know when she is in or out. That old saying what you don't know won't hurt you is not a bad saying :o) Your son sounds like a smart young man..it is probably your fears that make you feel that way not so much his "look". sending you a ((hug)) God BlessAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6994832747844483996.post-43729628508291256162009-07-24T22:43:37.725-07:002009-07-24T22:43:37.725-07:00Stumbled upon your blog and can't stop staring...Stumbled upon your blog and can't stop staring at pictures of your Katie. I am so sorry for your loss. I know that mother's fear you write about, but can't possibly know how intensely you must feel it. <br /><br />My husband always tells my son that being brave doesn't mean not being afraid, it means facing your fears. You are a brave woman (and I think your son knows that, or will in time).Bethhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12018513319178109244noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6994832747844483996.post-42614285139087565892009-07-24T18:42:34.545-07:002009-07-24T18:42:34.545-07:00Karen: again, your experience serves to teach othe...Karen: again, your experience serves to teach others. thank you. You are a brave and lovely woman and your son is lucky to have such a wonderful mother.<br />hugs :-))Clippy Mathttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15922234265229327474noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6994832747844483996.post-47031683254595039132009-07-23T08:20:32.640-07:002009-07-23T08:20:32.640-07:00thanks for your insight, and wisdom...and MB...mis...thanks for your insight, and wisdom...and MB...miss you...warts and all...especially the "hand"...I need practice with that still with my sweet Z...love you both - AngUnknownhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00240037715234570392noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6994832747844483996.post-57612159588549115142009-07-23T07:58:22.231-07:002009-07-23T07:58:22.231-07:00I believe I have to agree with Elizabeth. There d...I believe I have to agree with Elizabeth. There does come a time in each young adult's life when they look at their parents with a look of pity, maybe, or surprise mixed with pity. They are seeing us for the first time as we really are, not who they had thought we were while they were growing up. What they see is a normal person, just like them, who has lived a long time, felt a lot of things, experienced a lot of joy and loss and have some of those wildly adventurous edges worn down. I do believe this is natural, and that look probably won't change much until they step into our shoes, literally, and start on their own life paths of joy, loss, pain, sadness, pursuit, accumulation, more loss, successes, more loss. It is a natural path. The love then returns on a different level and you become not that knows all/sees all parent with supernatural powers but the person that has sacrificed everything and loved them without reason. They then send back a new and freeing kind of love. I actually love the fact that I can appear just like I am to my children now. They can see all of it now, they respect it and vow never to be it. But, we all know they will become some newer improved version of us in t he end. Now I just get to love them with reckless abandon, warts and all and no longer feel like I have to know all the answers. It's a softer, gentler kind of loving.MBhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16239616757076281480noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6994832747844483996.post-57208535236254932082009-07-22T20:32:11.761-07:002009-07-22T20:32:11.761-07:00I think it helps to acknowledge our fears and have...I think it helps to acknowledge our fears and have them. And then let them pass. I believe we remain fearful when we don't allow ourselves to admit to fear or when we somehow bury it.<br /><br />As for the "look" in your son's eye, dare I say that I believe that is part and parcel of parents and their children? I think that even in the absence of the terrible loss of Katie, you would receive that look. I think that's overwhelmingly sad, but perhaps what parenting and then letting go of parenting is all about. But that's just my humble opinion and I, of course, have no real idea of the trauma you've faced.Elizabethhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03313726816776097840noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6994832747844483996.post-58017107374680188252009-07-22T19:58:50.970-07:002009-07-22T19:58:50.970-07:00This is touching and insightful.
"fear of los...This is touching and insightful.<br />"fear of loss and not death", I get this Karen.Busy Bee Suzhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18115487928147732314noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6994832747844483996.post-36398392362920202372009-07-22T17:14:06.925-07:002009-07-22T17:14:06.925-07:00Many many years ago, when our children were small,...Many many years ago, when our children were small, a friend and I used to discuss this issue of fear frequently. I had lost a young mother and brother, a stepmother, and an aunt, all to sudden deaths at young ages. She had three living children to show for six pregnancies. At about the same time, we both came to the conclusion that she articulated: We can't spend our lives being fearful. If something happens to one of our children, having worried about it in advance will not make it any easier.<br /><br />I know that I for one never stopped being terrified. I have often said that I learned at the age of seven that this is a treacherous and uncertain universe. But I hid that knowledge and from things my daughter has said, I think I hid it very well. All of my children spent summer months hundreds of miles away at camp; all of them studied for long periods of time in Europe. I always pushed and urged them out the door and into the world.<br /><br />All to say, I guess, that I was always afraid then, and I am always afraid now. Although I don't notice it so much now, because the sadness blots out pretty much every other emotion.Gannet Girlhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16374279595560691174noreply@blogger.com