"To the individual believer indwelt by the Holy Spirit there is granted the direct impression of the Spirit of God on the spirit of an individual, imparting the knowledge of His will in matters of the smallest and greatest importance. This has to be sought and waited for." - G. Campbell Morgan
I know of two other victims. The church refuses to acknowledge this, though they have heard from the three of us.
He died in a wildfire that swept the hills of Oakland, California, in 1991. I was told that he and his wife stayed in their house, trying to keep it safe by spraying it with water from their garden hoses. It was a huge, consuming fire. When I heard about it, my first feeling was awe. My first thought was, "Yep." It still amazes me. I'm not glad that he and his wife died what was surely an agonizing death, but I am not sorry he's gone, either.
I wonder if he sought and waited for "the direct impression of the Spirit of God." Looking at his behavior, I doubt it. I wonder if it would have stopped him, or led him to treatment, or healed him of the desire to molest small children. I don't know anything about the inside of his mind and heart. I just don't see God's impression in his actions - I see manipulation, violation and control.
One of the interesting side effects of having been molested is that I have a heightened sensitivity to creepy vibes in men. I cannot explain this, and it's possible that I've been wrong sometimes, but I know that I feel it, almost like an aura, around some men. I steer far clear of them, without apology.
Before Katie got sick, I was working through some of the after-effects of the molestation. The actress Teri Hatcher wrote an article in 2006 in Vanity Fair magazine about her experience of sexual abuse as a child, and it brought a lot of feelings to the surface in me. I realized that it was HIS problem, not mine. I made a collage and wrote a poem (above), and that helped me to "clear the air" inside of me. Getting it out in visual form felt good; I would recommend such "art therapy." When Katie was diagnosed with cancer, this part of my past became a very small and insignificant thing, in comparison to what she was suffering.
"...comfort yourself with Him, who is the only Physician of all our maladies. He is the FATHER of the afflicted, always ready to help us. He loves us infinitely more than we imagine: love Him then, and seek not consolation elsewhere: I hope you will soon receive it." - "The Practice of the Presence of God," by Brother Lawrence
That quote gives an impression of the Spirit of God. I'm thankful that there are many good-hearted prophets and spiritual mentors in the world who bear His image.